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Big Bird
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The things kids say
Driving the 2 eldest (3 & 6) into town just after Christmas, the following was heard.
Dad - so what do you boys want to do when you grow up?
6YR - (who wanted to farm up until now!) I want to be a racing car driver.
3YR - I want to drive a tractor like daddy.
6yr - If you want to drive a tractor you'll have to mik cows as well.
Dad - There are jobs you can do just driving a tractor, you don't have to milk cows.
6yr - No, you could always get your wife to milk the cows.
I nearly crashed the car laughing.
The better half and myself sometimes swop jobs, and for that particular day she was milking.
(Have to say though, milking is easier than looking after 3 young kids.)
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4/1/2007, 13:08
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donkey5
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Re: The things kids say
When asked what she was going to ask father christmas for our 5yr old said
Time, because there's not enough hours in the day.
Sounding like a dairy farmer allready!
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4/1/2007, 20:53
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foxleigh
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....on finding a dead crow in the house yard the monster said 'call the truck daddy" meaning ring up for the knackery to get it.
....while the boss was at the cricket he helped me get a calving cow in and while we are chasing her around the paddock he's going "get the cow dr?" And as Im pulling the calf he's telling the cow to sqeeezzze.
...... he turns up at the top of the pit during milking with a dead ****atoo (well dead)hanging onto it by the tail feathers "lost his eyes daddy"
In town last week we passed the knackery truck "look calffie truck"(mustve had too many dead jersey crosses!)
never ceases to amaze me what actualy gets picked up......we wont even go near the bad language used to describe heifers getting out.
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4/1/2007, 22:05
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mootoyou
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Re: The things kids say
A few years ago I was dropping my sweet innocent 3 year old son off at Pre-School, nothing unusual about that or by the fact that he ran in and went straight to play with the cows on the toy farm.
What happened next motified me but has been the source of constant amusement ever since!!!!
My son was playing with the cows........... to be precise TWO... they were following each other nicely in line, when the one at the back proceeded to jump athletically on the others back.
(At this point I considered it was time to leave, but before I could do so, with a number of mothers blocking the exit was horrified as the teacher made her way over to Harvey)
Teacher: Are the cows having their breakfast Harvey?
Harvey: (at the top of his voice) Don't be silly...... the bulls sh*gging the cow!!!!!!!
The fact that he said it so loud enabled every parent in the class to hear...... I didn't know if I should laugh or cry....
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5/1/2007, 9:36
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PEOVEREYE
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The things kids say
They pick up everything , my little girl is 6 and her grasp of death is disturbing. When the pet rabbit died of mixxy I told her after school to which she replied " had doddy had it then " ( doddy is the best knackerman ever just a shame he only comes when something is wrong) the truth was daddy chucked rabbit in the rotaspreader but doddy was a better story. Niamh did tell all school that doddy had the rabbit it was lucky the school hamster died at the teachers house or it would of come back here for doddy.
When we came here a 10 year fbt seemed like forever but now i scale it to the fact that heifer calves born of todays services will possibly not calve down here or even with me. I have put some pressure on the land agent with no joy as yet they are not prpared to confirm extending it and with development potential and being on the end os a 40 acre lake that is an SSSI i no idea if they will or not. I not panicing yet but niamh has over heard the conversations with grandparents etc and came to me one day with a big worried look and tears rolling down her cheeks and said " Daddy I have decided I will save my birthday money for the next few years then I can buy you a farm and you can keep your cows" thats when daddy isn't so strong as he thought and gets the lump in his throat .
PS anyone else think kids should be off school longer at xmas to recover from it all niamh back yesterday the 4th!
Last edited by PEOVEREYE, 6/1/2007, 12:51
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5/1/2007, 11:28
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Big Bird
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Re: The things kids say
quote:
PEOVEREYE wrote:
PS anyone else think kids should be off school longer at xmas to recover from it all niamh back yesterday the 4th.
I would have said they needed longer (ours went back on the third), but eldest and the pre-schooler were both desperate to go back.
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5/1/2007, 13:40
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mootoyou
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The things kids say
Still have the pleasure of ours.... back on Monday.....
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5/1/2007, 14:42
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foxleigh
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The things kids say
kinder only starts back end of jan here and it's been an eventful week....
monday we sneaked a carving nife out of the kitchen and stabbed holes in the bean bag.
Weds day we thought we'd help mum wash the wb ute before she took the motor bike to town.Came out of the house ready to go to find someone in the cabin with the hose going.lets just say I never knew how much mud there was in a cabin.
friday the gastro thingy that has done the rounds of the district caught up with him and he spent the day either heaving or sleeping.
no rest for the wicked in this house.
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5/1/2007, 20:57
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Sam TM
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Re: The things kids say
Anyone else found this "design fault"?
As a result of our two "playing farms" with their toys ... all of our Britains made bulls have become 3-legged!
The bulls front legs are just not wide enough to 'mount' the cows!
So when they're repeatedly "put into position" - to the cry of "Dad! Cow's-a-bulling!" - one of their legs falls off!
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8/1/2007, 0:17
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mootoyou
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Re: The things kids say
quote:
As a result of our two "playing farms" with their toys ... all of our Britains made bulls have become 3-legged!
Unfortunately all the cows on their toy farm look more like Dexters now........
the youngest was watching Norman Walker foot-trimming one day, he then went home and set to all the Britains cows with the Nail clippers....... took their feet off to the knees!!!!
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8/1/2007, 14:08
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scoobyscotlad
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Re: The things kids say
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."
The same class of children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a vet,' or 'That's Michael, He's a farmer.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
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9/1/2007, 22:51
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foxleigh
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Re: The things kids say
last week the fellow wanted a sausage so I tossed a pack into the microwave to defrost and dived out the door to hang up laundry.Someone couldnt wait and dragged a chair over to the kitchen bench.I heard an almighty crash, the boss is yelling (he has no tolerence for stupidity)and the kid is screaming BENS DEAD BENS DEAD over and over.Seems he backed up on the chair to open the microwave door and over balenced and fell off the chair and flat onto the floor.Im not certain where he got the idea from that when you fall off something you die.
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17/1/2007, 20:47
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ryanns
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Re: The things kids say
my wife caught my then 2.5 year old walking up the path and into the yard after she had found a pair of white gloves which she had on my wife said where are you going? she turned holding up her gloved hands and said " i'm going to milk the cows mummy"
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16/2/2007, 22:30
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foxleigh
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The things kids say
picked the monster up from kinder and was told - with great relish.Bens been playibg farms today.
Picked up a toy cow out of the pen and said this cow looks sick ,shoot the b******d and call the man with the truck quick before she starts to smell.
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23/2/2007, 21:04
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DaleKOntario
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Re: The things kids say
My three year old spends her days telling strangers "Boys have a penis, girls have a magina!" She's so proud of herself.
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24/2/2007, 2:31
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Big Bird
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Re: The things kids say
Don't know about the things kids say, how do you get 'em to shut up? We've got my sisters 2 for a couple of days whilst they move to a new farm.
5 kids, from 6 years down to 18 months! It's like living in the monkey house at a zoo. How did classcow cope?
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26/2/2007, 21:22
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ryanns
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Re: The things kids say
my little girl saw a vicar and asked me what he was wearing round his neck,i explained that it was called a dogcollar and that he was a vicar and he worked at the church and talked about god, she replied which dog is he going to talk about?
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26/2/2007, 23:25
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classcow
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Re: The things kids say
quote:
Big Bird wrote:
Don't know about the things kids say, how do you get 'em to shut up? We've got my sisters 2 for a couple of days whilst they move to a new farm.
5 kids, from 6 years down to 18 months! It's like living in the monkey house at a zoo. How did classcow cope?
Damn great wife, that's how!!!!
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1/3/2007, 23:30
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mootoyou
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Re: The things kids say
Had to laugh today. . . .
the youngest (the grand old age of 6) wants to take a calf to do the showmanship with at the National, so he's been leading this little calf about for the last few days, you know, how they are keen as mustard. Someone had let him borrow a Showmanship video, which he has been abit obsessive about, watching it at least 2 X daily since the weekend.
We had finished our breakfast this morning, when I caught sight of him with his finger and thumb positioned by the Rottweilers bottom. . . . . When asked what he was doing, he assured me
"It's Ok Mummy, I'm just practising"
Slightly worried at this stage , I asked
"Practising what?"
6 year old son replies
" Well Mummy you see, when my calf wees or craps in the ring. . . it's important you touch the tail down, to enhance the animals appearance"
May God Help me, apparently it's 31 days till we leave for the show, it will be 30 tomorrow. . . and 29 after that! ! !
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13/3/2007, 22:09
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maddal
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At Easter, my little sister was complaining about the ferry journey she had just been on. Apparently she was forced to sit by a large group of elderly people who didn't particularly smell very nice after a long coach journey. Dad asked her what she was going to be like when he got to that age and she said, 'don't worry Dad, I won't make you go on a ferry.'
Unfortunately, this kid is 28.
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24/4/2007, 9:58
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JonnykelsoII
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Re: The things kids say
I was phoning my sister the other day on her mobile while she was in driving with her husband and 2 little sons (Matthew aged 3 and Daniel 1). Anyway wen I got thru to my sis, typical cheapskate student I asked her2fone me back cause id no money so she said to my brother in law she was foning me back cause I had no money. Poor wee Matthew got very concerned almost to the point of tears to ask why Uncle Jonny (me) had no money. He then proceeded to poke around the backseat & was all excited to talk to me on the fone to tell me he'd found me some money (hed found in the backseat).Cute.
My sis bought him a waterpistol and wen he got it he got all excited to ask his mummy could he pray and thank God for his waterpistol. Then he said-do u think God likes guns? Such is the innocence of a child.
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28/4/2007, 0:22
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foxleigh
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The things kids say
today his majesty was out on the bike with the boss and as they rode over a new piece of direct drilled lucerne ground the monster told his father that "needs fertilzer dad needs fertilizer"
Just prior to him departing the house he had put his bob the builder boots on the wrong feet and I said stop youve got to change your boots over so bob can see (bob is on each of the outer sides of the rubber boots)and when we were done he told me "you a clever kid mum you a clever kid"
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7/5/2007, 13:00
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maddal
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'Mummy, where do babies come from?
Well, daddies make a liquid called sperm and put it into mummies' tummies.
Do mummies swallow it?
Only if they want new shoes.'
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29/5/2007, 14:46
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