thyme
sfios
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 just a little somethin'
I got this in my email and I thought you might enjoy it 
The Plian Goespl
Aocdrnicg to a rsecareh at Cmbagrdie Uinervtisy, it denos't mtater waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
For God so leovd the wrlod taht he gvae his olny bttegoen son, that woehvesor belvetieh in him sholud not peisrh, but htah evlerainstg lfie.
Whether you are an 'old hand' at preaching the Gospel, or your palms sweat, and your tongue twists as you talk like the above, just do your part, and let the Holy Spirit do His work.
So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. Isaiah 55:11
No matter how you write it folks, the Gospel is as plain as day. It's for whosoever will.
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12/3/2003, 10:29 pm
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thyme
sfios
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 More Terrorists Found - Churches Beware!
A Late breaking news report.
An additional group of 10 terrorists have been newly discovered, only this time, operating out of the churches across America. Identified by Christian security forces earlier today, the following have been confirmed to be secretly undermining the work of the gospel in the United States.
They have been identified as: Bin Lying, Bin Sleeping, Bin Arguing, Bin Fighting, Bin Complaining, Bin Missing, Bin Procrastinating, Bin Backsliding, and Bin non-tithing. The ring leader is no other than Bin Lucifer, who has trained these operatives very well. They are out to destroy the body of Christ. Their strategy is always the same: covertly infiltrate the local churches disguised as Christians, pretend to love the Lord but secretly sow seeds of discord, criticism, discouragement, doubt and other sins among the congregation. If any of these terrorists are seen operating in your church, immediately report them to your pastor and pray for revival.
From Bro. Luis J. Castillo,
Extreme Faith Ministries
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1/19/2004, 10:19 am
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dmarcel
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Barber Shop Dialogue
I have something I received by email, too:
The Bible says to have an answer for why you believe to those who ask you. This is a good example of an answer to one of the most common reasons people give for ignoring God and His goodness.
A man went to a barbershop to have his hair and his beard cut as always. He began to have a good conversation with the barber who attended him. They talked about so many things and various subjects. Suddenly, they touched on the subject of God. The barber said: "Look man, I don't believe that God exists."
"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.
"Well, it's so easy, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God does not exist. Oh, tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God exists, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't think of loving a God who permits all of these things."
The customer thought for a moment, but he didn't respond because he did not want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the
customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long hair and a beard. It was very long, and a long
time since he had his hair cut and he looked dirty and unkempt.
The customer entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say they don't exist?" asked the surprised barber. " I am here and I am a barber. Why I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did there would be no people with long hair and beard like that man who is outside."
"Ah, barbers do exist, what happens is that people do not come to me."
"Exactly!"- Affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God does exist. What happens is people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's
why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."
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dmarcel
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1/27/2004, 10:23 am
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dmarcel
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cell phone hands free
I don't know if you've heard, but starting Jan 1, 2004 you will no longer be able to use a cell phone while driving unless you have a "hands free" adapter. I went to Circuit City and they wanted $50 for a headset with a boom microphone for my cell phone. Having a friend in the cell phone business, I talked with him and was able to come up with an alternative, working through Office Depot.
These kits are compatible with any mobile phone and one size fits all. I paid $0.08 each because he bought in quantity. I'm selling them for only $1.00. I tried them out on Erickson, Motorola, Nokia phones and they worked perfectly.
A photo is attached (scroll down to see it). Take a look and let me know if you want one. Also, forward this to anyone you know who may want one!
I can hear you laughing. I thought you could use a laugh.
Last edited by dmarcel, 6/13/2004, 3:16 pm
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dmarcel
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1/31/2004, 4:20 pm
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thyme
sfios
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Smart Instructions
Do Not Use While Sleeping!
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible:
Actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dove soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)
On TESCO’S Tiramisu dessert: (printed on box bottom):
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Hmm, now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(have lobotomy?)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Gee, can’t wait to get this home?)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
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10/2/2004, 10:56 am
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