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Valjean
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Re: The Wedding Celebration
I kept walking through the streets, my shoulders stooped, my steps slow. Everything was different now. I felt slow and clumsy. I felt... I felt like a burdensome old man. I felt like my eyes had grown dimmer and it was getting difficult to see. Could it be that she had been the one to keep me alive all these years and now without her, I was withering away? I laughed to myself, thinking how absurd it was that another human could have such an effect.
I stopped and looked up at the building I was in front of. It was dark and brooding and smelled of decay and hopelessness. I wanted to turn away from even the facade of it, but found my feet taking me closer and closer to it. Perhaps this was my place now, perhaps I could be forgotten in this tomb, in this morgue, in this building full of the dying and downtrodden.
A smile lit up my face. Yes, it would be just my place.
Last edited by Valjean, 25/Apr/2004, 10:24 pm
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"Have courage for the great sorrows in life, and patience for the small ones; and when you have laborously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake."
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25/Apr/2004, 10:23 pm
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Javert
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Re: The Wedding Celebration
oh what a pain it was , that slowly but constantly grew in my body , my neck was pounding heavily under the dressing , as were my wrists... I closed my eyes and just lay there...whatelse could I do ?
Last edited by Javert, 25/Apr/2004, 10:46 pm
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25/Apr/2004, 10:33 pm
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Valjean
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Re: The Wedding Celebration
I went inside, my legs feeling weak. It was warm inside, too warm. I could almost feel the disease in the air. crawling on the exposed skin of my face and neck and hands. It made me want to scratch all over, but I was not leaving. If it was my time to die, I would want to at least die in a place where death occured every few minutes and those who were well would not stay well.
I went to the registration area and looked into the empty eyes of one of the nurses there. She must have seen so much devastation to look as hollow as she did.
I... I am not well I managed to stammer. I didn't know if it was just my imagination or not or whether I was just eager to die that made me suddenly made me feel like everything inside me was falling apart.
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"Have courage for the great sorrows in life, and patience for the small ones; and when you have laborously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake."
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26/Apr/2004, 4:27 pm
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Javert
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Re: The Wedding Celebration
only the sudden wave of even more noise , the rising tumult amongst all those << children of god >> - how that git of a priest who used to come up every other day , called this odious beings - told me that again a new soul would be wasted in here, must just have entered ... but what did it matter ? I didn't even open my eyes to have a look at who or whatever it was , not even when I heard a nurse's footsteps coming up , giving the new one some very brief instructions , eating times and bed times as well as the special habbits of some of us ... always the same
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26/Apr/2004, 10:12 pm
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Valjean
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Re: The Wedding Celebration
I looked around as a dressing gown was shoved into my hands. What had I come into? What pit of chaos was this?
Part of me wanted to flee back into the night. At least it wasn't so damned hot out there as it was here!
I went to the window and looked out at the street where I'd been only moment's before. It looked strange and foreboding, like something out of a nightmare.
Then I turned back and saw a figure in a bed. I tilted my head as I looked at him, for his eyes were closed, and my eyes were growing tired with the stress of the day. I blinked, not believing who it was. Yes, it was him, it had to be him. I moved closer, setting my issued dressing down and cup and plate onto the bed that I had been told was mine.
In the dim light, among the wailing and illness and all things unpleasant, a wave of great relief washed over me and I was moved to tears.
Javert...I whispered, my voice strained.Open your eyes... It's me... it's your con... I was almost giddy with excitement, although it was apparent that he couldn't be bothered with me. I wasn't alone! He understood what it was like, surely he did! He had to!
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"Have courage for the great sorrows in life, and patience for the small ones; and when you have laborously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake."
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27/Apr/2004, 2:09 am
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Javert
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Re: The Wedding Celebration
My name... it couldn't be a dream , imagination...I had given up these things long ago so...someone was calling me by my name . And it could only be him ... A while ago I'd have spat at him in my defiance , blamed him for my misère ...now - almost to my own surprise - this voice was making me a human being again just by saying my name ... the moment I opened my eyes I suddenly felt miserable...almost ashamed of what I had turned into ... an emaciated rag Val..Valjean ?I hear my own , hoarsy voice stammer
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27/Apr/2004, 8:57 pm
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Valjean
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Re: The Wedding Celebration
Javert... I said again because I could find no other words. Tears streamed down my weathered cheeks. I reached out to take one of his hands in mine, but could not bring myself to touch him. I let my hand fall to my side and knelt beside his bed.
There was so much I wanted to say to him! I wanted to ask him what had happened that he should suffer in such a dark place, but I knew the answer to that. Oh, I wanted to embrace him so badly- the one familiar thing to me in this God forsaken place where I had chosen to live out the rest of my days. Deep inside I had known that we were forever bound to one another, but was it really meant to be like this? In this wretched place?
I sighed and laid my head close to his hand, brushing my tears away. *Oh well* I thought *it no longer matters...*
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"Have courage for the great sorrows in life, and patience for the small ones; and when you have laborously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake."
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29/Apr/2004, 4:32 pm
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Javert
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Re: The Wedding Celebration
I felt it...felt his closeness...the slight move of the straw matress as he laid his head on it ...I felt the pain...never since I arrived at this place did I feel it...never did the wounds hurt...now they did...terribly they did...and how badly I wanted to move , to hide away , pull my legs close and ... and cry...For the first time ever I wanted to cry ...but being tied like a monster , exposed for everyone's eyes , I just , slowly , turned my head , away from him and , in my confusion , just stammered something like Don't look at me...don't
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29/Apr/2004, 10:34 pm
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Valjean
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Re: The Wedding Celebration
I raised my head, startled to hear his voice. He seemed to be in a great deal of pain. I wanted to make it go away. I wanted to make this place go away.
An idea came to me just then, like a gift. I might've been on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but not so much that I couldn't leave and take him with me. Yes, I could take care of him or find someone who could and we could make a new start...
Let's leave this place... I said, ignoring his last words to me. How badly he was hurt I could not tell, but I could help him! I could help us! I knew I could. I'll take care of you... I'll get us out of here... My words were spilling over themselves with eagerness. Yes, it could work! I could see it all falling into place.
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"Have courage for the great sorrows in life, and patience for the small ones; and when you have laborously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake."
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29/Apr/2004, 11:07 pm
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Javert
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Re: The Wedding Celebration
Thinking back nowI have bene on the edge of insanity backthen as, when the words and seconds after their meaning reached my mind , I did something which I had never thought I'd ever do , no matter what would be ...I was wrong , I did it...I turned my head to face him , to face him with helpless eyes , and I ...I begged help me...h-help me...help...help m-me it just slipped out of my mouth...no thinking , nothing to hold it back anymore , just angst
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29/Apr/2004, 11:22 pm
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