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500 (and counting) Ways to Die in Middle Earth
500 (and counting) Ways to Die in Middle Earth
(By Galadnilien and Lithriel)
You could:
1. Be eaten by a dragon
2. Be squashed by a dragon
3. Be roasted by a dragon
4. Be impaled by a dragon's claw
5. Be eaten by a tree
6. Look for firewood in Fangorn Forest
7. Fall off a cliff
8. Fall into mount doom
9. Protect Osgiliath
10. Be Denethor's son
11. Get lost in the dead marshes
12. Sneak up on the witchking
13. Scare Legolas
14. Steal weed from Sauramon
15. Be trampled by a horse
16. Be trampled by an oliphant
17. Be trampled by a warg
18. Be squeezed by an Ent
19. Be squashed by an Ent
20. Be trampled by a Dragon
21. Be clubbed by a troll
22. Be poisoned by goblins
23. Fall off your boat
24. Insult Galadriel
25. Be Haldir (in the movie)
26. Look like an orc
27. Act like an orc
28. Smell like an orc
29. Be an orc
30. Fall behind (Pirates of the Caribbean)
31. Shriek like a ringwraith
32. Carry the one ring
33. Play with shelob
34. Swim in the forbidden pool
35. Laugh at Sauron
36. Throw yourself off Sauraman's tower
37. Act stupid around Gandalf
38. Laugh at a wizard
39. Pick a troll's pocket
40. Fall on your sword
41. Fall on someone else's sword
42. Shoot yourself in the head
43. Mess up Legolas' hair
44. Insult Gimli with Legolas standing by
45. Dance like an idiot in Lothlorien
46. Breath loudly in Lothlorien
47. Curse elves in black speech and then laugh
48. Steal a hobbit's beer
49. Be the gate keeper at Bree
50. Cook yourself (like Denethor)
51. Throw yourself from the Top of the White city
52. Let Gandalf throw you from the Top of the White City
53. Torch the white tree for fun
54. Take a nap on a burning beacon
55. Look into the Palantia
56. Steal the king's crown
57. Take a stroll through Mirkwood
58. Take a bath in the dead Marshes
59. Bathe in the river of forgetfulness
60. Be eaten by spiders
61. Steal dwarf gold
62. Have your head chopped off
63. Drown at Isengard
64. Be licked by Grima Wormtongue
65. Kissed by a Dementor (he he…)
66. Get stabbed by Sam
67. Be speared by Aragorn
68. Get shot by Aragorn
69. Be ripped open by Aragorn's manly bare hands
70. Be trampled by Bill the pony
71. Be a battle horse from Rohan
72. Have your legs eaten by orcs in front of you
73. Be fresh in front of orcs
74. Be fresh with orcs
75. Tickle Smaug the dragon
76. Attempt to break into Sauron's Tower
77. Lock yourself in Moria
78. Try trick or treating in Mordor
79. Get crushed in an Avalanche
80. Have Sauraman twirl you around in the air
81. Insult Denethor's eating habits
82. Make rope out of back hair and try to rope two sea um… I mean dragons with it
83. Take a stroll through the path of the dead
84. Explore nasty dark caves
85. Smell good
86. Smell bad
87. Lose your sword
88. Run out of arrows
89. Eat your sword
90. Eat an arrow
91. Be a fool of a Took
92. Swallow your pipe weed
93. Take a nap on weathertop
94. Have your head chopped off and catapulted at your comrades
95. Stick the end of your staff up a troll's nose
96. Play football with armored trolls
97. Forget your helmet at the battle of Helm's deep
98. Eat a raw brace of conies
99. Trip and fall down some stony steps
100. Choke on Frodo's finger
101. Throw rocks at Sauron's eye
102. Have your smoke ring ship go back into your mouth and sail down your throat! (Brittany Thonas)
103. Hide Legolas's hair care products (Lisa)
104. Play hide and seek in Shelob's cave with Frodo (Lisa)
105. Call Gimli Ugly! (Epic)
106. Eat too much Lembas Bread (Epic)
107. Forget your mithril body armour in Moria. (JJ)
108. Have a staring contest with the Eye of Sauron. (Mikel)
109. Tell Elrond violet is *definitely* not his colour. (maeva)
110. Be an Elf or a Dwarf on Mount Caradras. (JJ)
110. Try to take over the Shire with Merry and Pippen within 1,000 leages of home. (JJ Bray)
111. Try to strangle ol' Samwise when Frodo has Sting nearby. (JJ Bray)
112. Playing a game of riddles with Gollum (unless you are a Hobbit, Elf, or Wizard). (GollumGirl)
113. Play with Gandalf's fireworks. (Mikel)
114. Play a game of Hide and Kill with Smaug the dragon. (JJ)
115. Bite Frodo's finger off. (Sienna)
116. Be the ork that carries the bomb in the battle of helm's deep. (av)
117. Tell the black riders to use blush, they're very pale. (av)
118. Wake Frodo up when he's sleeping.
119. Marry a ringwraith (nicole)
120. Be the child of a ringwraith (nicole)
121. Stand in the middle of the Bridge of Kazad-Dum and tell a Balrog he cannot pass. (Kate)
122. Insult sam's cooking. (Betz)
123. Eat their legs! They don't need those! I mean the Orcs' legs, of course. (JJ)
124. Don't eat (Chaz)
125. Try to sneak up on Aragorn dressed up as a Ringwraith! (Terra)
126. Be fresh with Arwen, infront of Aragorn. (Cherman)
127. Use the palantir as a bowling ball! (Terra)
128. "Borrow" some mushrooms from Farmer Maggot. (Elwyn Tynsdale)
129. Try to kill the Nazgul King. (JJ)
130. Try to take a nazgul's hood off. (Sub-Zero)
131. Be an Elf and marry Aragorn.
132. Have Pippin hug you. (Megan)
133. Steal Legolas's shampoo. (Megan)
134. Try and persuade a cave troll to play twister. (Alex)
135. Break eowyn's heart like Aragorn did. (frenchie)
136. Make a sandcastle out of Suramons gunpowder. (Psg188)
137. Tell a Balrog to chill. (Megan and Amber)
138. Insult Frodo when Sam is nearby. (Megan and Amber)
139. Be Theoden at the Battle of Pellenor Fields. (Megan and Amber)
140. Hide Legolas's Brush. (Megan and Amber)
141. Show up at Elrond's council when Frodo's invited, but you are not. (Megan and Amber)
142. Cut down one of Treebeard's friends. (Megan and Amber)
143. Rise an axe in Fangorn Forest. (Megan and Amber)
144. Try to steal Gandalf's hat. (Megan and Amber)
145. Meddle in the affairs of wizards. (Megan and Amber)
146. Trust Gollum to lead you safely. (Megan and Amber)
147. Mouth off to Smaug. (Megan and Amber)
148. Try to reclaim Moria. (Megan and Amber)
149. Insult Galadriel in front of Haldir. (Megan and Amber)
150. Insult Galadriel in front of Celeborn. (Megan and Amber)
151. Kiss Galadriel in front of Gimli. (Megan and Amber)
152. Insult Galadriel in front of Gimli. (Megan and Amber)
153. Give a valentine to shelob, or a cave troll, or the dark lord, or.....any creature thats not you. (Psg188)
154. Be meat back on the menu. (Frodofan)
155. Beat Legolas at a videp-game when he has his bow and arrow set nearby. (JJ)
156. Say "i can fly, I can fly, I can fly!" in front of a bunch of Uruk-Hai. (JJ)
157. Say "Think of a wonderful thought, any happy little thought" to Sauron. (JJ)
158. Be the Orc that kills Boromir. (JJ)
159. Destroy the One Ring. (JJ)
160. Be the Balrog. (JJ)
161. Blow the Horn of Gondor at Amon Hen. (JJ)
162. Yell at Sauron, "Hey You, over here!" while in Mordor (KK)
163. Tell Legolas his hair looks bad. (Jana)
164. Be Theodred. (Chrissy)
165. Have your horse fall on you. (Quilly)
166. Jump off the top of Orthanc when there's no eagle below to catch you. (Chrissy)
167. Say; "My Precious" to the One Ring when Gollum is behind you.
168. Steal Aragorn's ring. (Child of the King)
169. Borrowing a Palantir without permission. (Child of the King)
170. Telling Saruman he should bleach his hair. (Child of the King)
171. Ruining Legolas's Pea**** bow by 'accidentally' dropping it in Mount Doom. (Child of the King)
172. Kill Legolas and get mobbed by many rabid fangirls. (Edainilwen)
173. Ask and elf how old she/he is. (Glolinde)
174. Tell Legolas that he is ugly. (Glolinde)
175. Fall off a cliff while tied to a warg. (unless you are Aragorn).
176. Go find Gollum in his cave and loose at the riddles game.
177. Steal the ring from Gollum with him finding out and seeing you while you don't have the ring on.
178. Eating maggoty bread for 3 stinking days.
179. Going into Lothlorien if you are an orc.
180. Stepping into the clean stream (the Nimrodel) at Lothlorien.
181. Insult Eomer by asking for his name in the Gap of Rohan and being taller then a dwarf.
182. Say Eomer looks funny with the hair comming off the top of his head from his helmet.
183. Insulting Eyowen or Arwen's dresses.
184. Make fun of Aragorn infront of Eowyn or Arwen.
185. Make fun of Legolas in front of every teenage elf.
186. Fall at the bridge of Khazad-dum while fighting the balrog.
187. Be around a ringwrath. (Nicole)
188. Look like a ringwrath. (Nicole)
189. Sound like a ringwrath. (Nicole)
190. Be a ringwrath. (Nicole)
191. Eat a ringwrath. (Nicole)
192. Be the ring. (Nicole)
193. Be Sauron. (Nicole)
194. Be Sauruman. (Nicole)
195. Be alive in Middle Earth. (Nicole)
196. Forget your keys to the gate of Helms deep when the Uruk-hai army is approaching. (Smaug)
197. Eat the wrong mushrooms in Farmer Maggot's backyard and, upon seeing a ring wraith, hallucinate that it is a cup of tea and try to drink it. (Jules)
198. Tell Denethor to eat properly. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
199. Ask Arwen out in front of Aragorn. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
200. Listen in on Gollum's secrets and have him find out. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
201. Try to kill Legolas with Aragorn watching. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
202. Keep Eowyn from going to battle. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
203. Throw the dwarf!!! (Ketabi)
204. Win a game against Elrond. (Me)
205. Tell Saruman he has a zit. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
206. Ask Denethor to shave. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
207. Buy Sauron a contact lens. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
208. Tell Saruman he smells like an orc. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
209. Ask Eowyn out when Eomer is nearby. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
210. Kiss Aragorn when Arwen's beside him. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
211. Kiss Arwen when Aragorn's beside her. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
212. Sneak up behind Arwen and push her off the bridge. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
213. Try to kill Aragorn. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
214. Throw Gimli's axe into Mount Doom. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
215. Insult a dwarf. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
216. Help Saruman. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
217. Be Grima's throw rug. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
218. Tell Sauron he needs some mascara. (Megan)
219. Fall off the bridge of Khaza-dum while running. (Gabby)
220. Ask whether Gimli is really male.
221. Play tag with a Ringwraith on Weathertop. (Alessandra)
222. Die of old age. (Sarah)
223. Try to hose down the Eye of Sauron. (Sarah)
224. Fry fish infront of Gollum. (Sarah)
225. Do a happy dance in the Cracks of Doom. (Sarah)
226. Have the one ring when Faramir has a host of men at his call. (Sarah)
227. Be a ****y Nazgul and boast to Eowyn that you can't be killed by a man. (Sarah)
228. Curse Morgoth infront of Sauron. (Sarah)
229. Be infront of Sauron's mace at the Battle of the Last Alliance. (Sarah)
230. Forget Andruil when going to summon the dead men of Dunharrow. (Sarah)
231. Jump on Saruman's back and cut him through when there are Halfling archers standing by. (Sarah)
232. Try leg wrestling with Shelob. (Sarah)
233. Be an orc in Cirith Ungol standing between Sam and Frodo. (Storyteller)
234. Yell "GROND!" while standing next to Gandalf. (Firiel)
235. Hide in Grond's mouth during a game of hide-and-seek. (Firiel)
236. Set up an amusement park and advertise free rides on Grond. (Firiel)
237. Be mortal. (Firiel)
238. Attempt to flip onto a horse if your not an Elf. (Firiel)
239. Lick a poisened orc blade. (Firiel)
240. Be Deagol. (Sarah)
241. Drink yourself to death at the Green Dragon. (Sarah)
242. Try to shoot Gandalf when he is all shiny and you can't tell whether it's him or Saruman. (JJ)
243. Be the fell beast Eowyn kills. (Edhela Greenleaf)
244. Fall of the boat on the way into the West. (Edhela Greenleaf)
245. Tell Gimli he should brush his beard. (Edhela Greenleaf)
246. Be turned into something "unnatural" by Gandalf( if unnatural is dead). (Edhela Greenleaf)
247. Taste orc blood. (Sarah)
248. Curse Orli I mean Legolas infront of a screaming mob of girls. (Sarah)
249. Accidently swallow the one ring. (Sarah)
250. Ask for directions from an orc. (Sarah)
251. Offer a Nazgul the one ring while he is standing right there and then change your mind. (Sarah)
252. Fall off the Black Gate. (Sarah)
253. Jump off the Argonoth. (Sarah)
254. Loose the Phial of Galadriel while climbing the endless stair. (Sarah)
255. Call Sam a stupid fat hobbit. (Sarah)
256. Under estimate Gandalf and challenge him to a duel on the Bridge of Khazad Dum. (Sarah)
257. Drink too many pints at the Prancing Pony. (Sarah)
258. Laugh at a Ring Wraith and don't run away. (Sarah)
259. Make a ****y comment to Sauron and "then" be paralized with fear. (Sarah)
260. Catch a dwarf by his beard. (Sarah)
261. Stand infront of a rampaging Oliphant. (Sarah)
262. Make fun of Aragorn's singing at the crowning ceremony. (Sarah)
263. Try to throw a paper airplane at Sauron's eye or Saruman or an orc or Grond or Aragorn or Legolas or a cave troll or Shelob or Gimli or Treebeard or a Ring Wraith or anything in Middle Earth that hasn't seen an anger management therapist. (Sarah and Meggi Dizzle)
264. Ask the Riders of Rohan if they are having fun with their pony club. (Laurence)
265. Try to do a handstand on top of the tower of Orthac. (Catie)
260. Run back and forth in front of orcs screaming "I'm INVINCIBLE!!!". (Reasonably Crazy)
261. Get in between Arwen and Eowyn. (Reasonably Crazy)
262. Tell Frodo he lost a finger "Just like Sauron!". (Reasonably Crazy)
263. Insult Sam. (Reasonably Crazy)
264. Insult Sam's cooking. (Reasonably Crazy)
265. Insult Rosie. (Reasonably Crazy)
266. Insult Sam's children (if you do all of those four, you are very, very dead). (Reasonably Crazy)
267. Attack the Ringwraiths with a squirtgun. (what? They don't like water, and it worked with a river...). (Reasonably Crazy)
268. Go up to Legolas and say "Llie n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina" (You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny). (Reasonably Crazy)
269. Try to jump onto a moving horse and not be Legolas. (Sarah)
270. Be an Easterling and have your eyeliner run into your eye and blind you during the Battle of the Pelennor Fields. (Sarah)
271. Not be a good jumper on the stairs of Moria. (Sarah)
272. Wressle Frodo on the edge of a cliff and loose. (Sarah)
273. Infuriate the Mouth of Sauron. (Sarah)
274. Eat chicken infront of Gwaihir, Lord of the Eagles. (Sarah)
275. Be allergic to athelas while suffering from the black breath so Aragorn can't heal you. (Sarah)
276. Beat Legolas and Gimli at the killing contest. (Sarah)
277. Burn wood infront of a Huorn. (Sarah)
278. Lie to Gandalf. (Sarah)
279. Sneeze while hiding from a Ringwraith. (Sarah)
280. Change your mind about destroying the One Ring when you're at Mount Doom, turn around, see Gollum standing there, go through a hugish battle with him, get your finger bitten off, still fight, and go hurtling down into the Cracks of Doom. (JJ)
281. Tell Treebeard that you are little orcs. (Anna)
282. Protect two hobbits from being captured by orcs, and get shot by lots of arrows before you fall to the ground. (Anna)
283. Suggest contacts for the eye of Sauron. (Saltana of Moldovia)
284. Make 'eyes' at the eye of Sauron. (Saltana of Moldovia)
285. Be human. (Saltana of Moldovia)
286. Insult Glofindels hair. (Saltana of Moldovia)
287. Just plainly live in Middle Earth. (Cassy)
288. Tell Eowyn that no man can kill you. (Cash)
289. Take over Theoden's mind and have Gandalf release it and then stand still while Theoden gets mad at you and raises his sword..... (Matt)
290. Get a buzz cut (all the guys in LOTR have reasonably long hair). (Falleen9)
291. Threaten Frodo when Sam is sneaking up behind you. (shire-rose)
292. Put Ketchup on your lembas bread. (E-star)
293. Insult Aragorn's manly stubble. (Ar-Feiniel)
294. Eat a mushroom infront of Pippin. (Omrie Brandywine)
295. Make fun of Grima Wormtongue's eating habit. (Shire-rose)
296. Cut off a Dwarfs beard. (hobbit girl)
297. Be Saruman and realize you locked yourself out of Orthanc when the Ents are attacking. (Meg)
298. Be married to Legolas. (Billy)
299. Be Ar-Feiniel and throw yourself between your son and your husband's spear. (Ar-Feiniel)
300. Tell blonde jokes in Lothlorien. (Ar-Feiniel)
301. Try to be like aragorn and get pulled off a cliff by a warg. (Ar-Feiniel)
302. Insult Galadriel lembas. (Ar-Feiniel)
303. Put a dwarf on a Vegetarian diet. (Ar-Feiniel)
304. Volenteer for Helm's Deep. (Ar-Feiniel)
305. Fall in love with a mortal and give him a shiny necklace. Ar-Feiniel)
306. Talk about future plot ideas. (Ar-Feiniel)
307. Be Fingon when fighting a big balrog. (Sil-Gathian)
308. Be Fingolfin when Morgoth's got Grond. (Sil-Gathian)
309. Try to beat Pippin in a drinking contest. (dark link)
310. Try to sneak up on Sam dressed as a giant spider. (dark link)
311. Invite an orc to supper. (Kilo and Omrie)
312. Steal one of Pippen's mushrooms with Merry close by. (Kilo and Omrie)
313. Play pattie-cake with an orc. (Kilo and Omrie)
314. Dance infront of a ring-wraith with a gold ring in your hand singing "I've got the riiiing!I've got the riiiiiiiiing!". (Kilo and Omrie)
315. Acuse Sam of stealing the lembas. (Sanura)
316. Insult Legolas in front of any female in the world. (Sanura)
317. Be an Easterling and steal Jack Sparrow's eyeliner. (dark link)
318. Tell Feanor the silmarils are just costume jewelry. (Elvenmaid)
319. Call Galadriel a dumb blonde in front of Gimli. (Elvenmaid)
320. Try wrestling with an invisible opponent in the Cracks of Doom and loose. (Sarah)
321. Be the creepy Haradrim guy who growls all the time. (Sarah)
322. Be near Aragorn when he wakes up from a bad dream. (Sarah)
323. Trip and fall off one of the white ships half way back to Arda. (Sarah)
324. Get trampled by Shadowfax. (Sarah)
325. Tell Legolas he has orc blood in his hair, then don't run away. (Elvenmaid)
326. Sail with Ar-Pharazon to Valinor. (Sarin)
327. Insult Theoden infront of Eowyn or Eomer. (Sarin)
328. Insult Aragorn in front of any one. (Sarin)
329. Steal Pippin's pint. (Spaz Gal)
330. Beat Legolas in an archery contest. You'll get hurt, and he'll get a bull's eye. (JJ)
331. Kill Aragorn and get mauled by hordes of screaming girl-fans. (Sarin)
332. Kiss an orc. (Candy)
333. Say "Dolle naa lost" (your head is empty), to Aragorn. (Candy)
334. Marry Pippin then tell him you hate mushrooms. (Spas Gurl)
335. Eat PO-TA-TOES in front of Sam. (Spaz Gal)
336. Get up early and steal all the mushrooms from Farmer Maggot's field before Pippin gets there. (Spaz Gal)
337. Jump in Front of the Riders of Rohan and say BOO, I GOTCHA HAHAHAHAHA you can't get me!. (Lexie Herrick)
338. Say that "Mushroom soups, pies, scones,... actually all mushrooms suck!" while Pippin is listening. (Spaz Gal)
339. Open a pizza parlor in Mordor. (Googdwill Guys)
340. Tap dance in front of the Gates of Mordor. (Googdwill Guys)
341. Try to put out Sauron's eye. (Googdwill Guys)
342. Tell Sauron he over-plucked his eye. (Googdwill Guys)
343. Sell popcorn at the battle of Helm's Deep. (Googdwill Guys)
344. Deliver a late night pizza to orcs. (Googdwill Guys)
345. Walk when Gandalf says "Run." (Googdwill Guys)
346. Take a holiday in Mordor. (Tom)
347. Be a troll while Gandalf is around. (Poopsmith)
348. Try to cremate your own son in minas tirith. (Poopsmith)
349. Get sick and die. (Spaz Gal)
320. Smoke a pipe infront of Merry and Pippin and not give them any. (Cara)
351. Drop an open bottle of "Clear Eyes" onto the eye of Sauron. (Tari Calafas)
352. Wash Saruman's robe in hot water with Pippin's vest. (Tari Calafas)
353. Go sailing if you´re a hobbit. (Corinna)
354. Try and get a piggy back ride on a troll. (Guess Who)
355. Jump in front of camera A. (Gregory the Clueless)
356. Starve to death half-stuck in Old Man Willow. (Ireth Gilnauriel)
357. Try feeding the Nazgul's horses. (Ireth Gilnauriel)
358. Kiss Galadriel with Gimli standing by. (Aragorn Rulez)
359. Find a beer more brown than the one that Merry and Pippen drink in their hometown. (Tari Calafas)
360. Eat all of the Veggies in Farmer Maggot's garden. (Elen)
361. Don't be Frodo's Sam after stopping him from giving the ring to a Nazgul riding a fell beast. (Tari Calafas)
362. Only ever serve King Theoden while secretly working for Sarumon, waiting until Gandalf the White shows up and exposes you after knocking Sarumon out of Theoden's head, Get thrown down a set of stone steps after Theoden's fingers remember their old stregnth by grasping his sword and not have Aragorn there to say that too much blood has been spilled on your account. (Tari Calafas)
363. Haunt Eowyn's steps with Eomer around. (Tari Calafas)
364. Don't take the wizard's staff. (Tari Calafas)
365. Stand in between a Hobbit and musrooms. (Anne)
366. Tell Saruman to clip his nails. (Anonymous)
367. Smoke too much. (Elijahfan)
368. Look tasty around Orcs that haven't eaten anything in three stinkin days. (QueenOfGondor)
369. Be Denethor and get pounded by Gandalf's staff. (Vaneala Malcariel)
370. Insult Sauron. (Zach)
371. Go to the lair of the elves and scream... "ALL HAIL SAURON !!!!" (klalle)
372. Fall off a cliff while fighting warg rider on a warg. (Eruanna)
373. Start making out with Farimir at the precise time that Eowyn's walking into the room. (arwen14)
374. Put the ring on and pull it away when a ringwraith trys to grab it, then get stuck with it's sword. (Rogue Oliphant)
375. Stick an oliphant with an arrow and then hang onto its leg if you not Legolas. (Rogue Oliphant)
376. Kiss Arwen infront of Elrond. (lotrfan)
377. Tell Gimli that Galadriel is NOT the fairest lady ever to walk Middle Earth. (Anonymous)
378. Describe to Legolas how to use a bow. (lotrfan)
379. Ask Frodo for the ring. (zozocat)
380. Use a chainsaw on Gandalf's staff. (Anonymous)
381. Tell Gimli that the worst stone work in the white city is far better than the best stone work a dwarf could do. (Anonymous)
382. Kill either Sam, Merry, Pippin or Frodo while one of the other three are around. (Samantha)
383. Cut Gimli's beard. (Anonymous)
384. Tell Saruman he is fat. (Gandalf)
385. Tell Boromir that he will die. (Aragorn)
386. Tell Gollum that he can not have the ring. (Frodo)
387. Follow the lights in the dead marshes. (Anonymous)
388. Tell Sauron he has long eyelashes. (Anonymous)
389. Perform CPR on a Nazgul. (Ereinion)
390. Look up into the sky as Gondorian catapults throw rubble at you. (Ereinion)
391. Take Smaug's favorite cup. (Ereinion)
392. Invite Gil-Galad and Elendil over to your tower to party. (Ereinion)
393. Stick your hands in glue, then pick up the Palantir of Orcthanc. (Ereinion)
394. Possess one of the seven Dwarven rings. (Ereinion)
395. Wave a shaving razor in front of a dwarf. (Ereinion)
396. Take a dump in the Forbidden Pool. (Ereinion)
397. Start singing when captured by a Barrow-Wight. (Ereinion)
398. Set up an ice cone stand on Caradhas. (Ereinion)
399. Treading barefoot through miles of snow, volanic rock, mountains, and forests. (Ereinion)
400. Accuse Boromir of cowardice. (Silmarien)
401. Tell Denethor that you killed Boromir. (Silmarien)
402. Tell Boromir that Minas Tirith sucks. (Silmarien)
403. Tell Aragorn that the line of Isildur has no right to rule Gondor. (Silmarien)
404. Mistake an Ent for a tree when searching for firewood. (Silmarien)
405. Tell Legolas he needs glasses. (Silmarien)
406. Be a Numenorean and try to set foot on Eldamar. (Silmarien)
407. Be Elendil's son. (Silmarien)
408. Kill, hurt, attempt to kill or to hurt, or threaten to kill or to hurt anyone who is capable of killing you. (Silmarien)
409. Be something small, cute and cuddly, dashingly handsome and manly, old and wise, or ugly and evil. Basically, whatever you are, you end up dead. (Claire)
410. Run up to Smaug the dragon and yell really loud "BOO!!". (Shutup&lisn)
411. Shoot a arrow at Sauron's eye. (???)
412. Wave hair clippers in front of an elf. (Nichole)
413. Tell a Ringwraith that you have the Ring. (Rachel)
414. Drown in the Flooding of Isengard. (Princess Havaerja)
415. Slap an orc in the face. (Eric)
416. Pet Legolas's hair. (Ale)
417. Get a cheap plastic ring from a vending machine and tell everyone it's the One Ring. (Allison)
418. Ask Sauron to submit an entry in the 101 ways to die in Middle-earth. (Jessica)
419. Tell Aragorn the he sings poorly. (Sarin)
420. Make fun of Figwit, or any male elf in front of a fangirl. (Shannon(Potato!))
421. Call Arwen fat infront of Aragorn. (Sarah)
422. Rip apart a teddy bear infront of Beorn. (Sarah)
423. Do a canon ball into Sauron's moat of lava. (Sarah)
424. Stand at the top of the tower of cirith ungol and feel that you have no more will to live. (Sarah)
425. Tease Gimli about being short. (Sarah)
426. Tell Sauron that the emperor in Star Wars was a better necromancer than him. (Sarah)
427. Tell Sauron that you've seen 25cent rings that looked better than his. (Sarah)
428. Tell Aragorn, Arwen loves Legolas. (Aragorn Rulez)
429. Go up to Boromir dressed as an orc, take his horn, blow it in his ear, then run away laughing and have him catch you. (Angela)
430. Brush a fellbeast's teeth. (Lolo)
431. Get a Warg for your next pet. (theringbearer04)
432. Cut off the hair of an Elf sitting in front of you. (Elven-Friend and OrcKiller)
433. Worshiping Morgoth in front of Elves. (The One)
434. Go swimming in the Anduin and go over the falls of Rauros. (Delalyra)
435. Be an orc in the battle of the Last Alliance. (Delalyra)
436. Hide Gimli's axe just before a big battle. (Anonymous)
437. Tell Aragorn Arwen betrayed him with Legolas. (Aragorn Rulez)
438. Make your own One ring, then try to sneak into Mordor. (theringbearer04)
439. Talk to Gandalf crossley. (Mithrandir)
440. Look at Gandalf crossly. (Mithrandir)
441. Do any sort of tom foolery in front or near Gandalf. (Mithrandir)
442. Play tag with Urk-hai. (Legolas'kitten)
443. Tell Elrond to shave his eyebrows. (LuthienAltarai)
444. Tell Aragorn he needs a shower. (ladyeoloth)
445. Remind aragorn he's still not king yet. (Flamingfish)
446. Say Gil-galad was a boring git in front of Elrond. (Cyclone996)
447. Steal Gandalf's bleach mid-way through him turning white. (Sil-Gathian)
448. tell aragorn you're his son/daughter in front of Arwen. (Aragorn Rulez)
449. Go to the Black Gate of Mordor and whan they opened you say, "Trick or treat!!." (Aragorn Rulez)
450. Stand under a falling rock. (Aragorn Rulez)
451. Throw up on Gimli's axe. (Aragorn Rulez)
452. Sleep in a cave for shelter while caught in a rainstorm in the misty mountains. (Lieyka)
453. Die by the intense heat given off form the hot guys and girls of Middle Earth. (Eldride)
454. Be Theoden. (Elwyna)
455. Have a crush on Eowyn (Eomer will kill ya). (Elfhild)
456. Use pompons instead of a sword at Helm's Deep. (Flamingfish)
457. Be the messenger and tell Aragorn Arwen is pregnant with Frodo's baby. (Emma)
458. Insult Gandalf about his staff. (Kisara_Amane)
459. Fall on Saruman's nails. (Emma)
460. Trip on Saruman's Nails. (Emma)
461. Do anything in front of Gandalf that he doesn't approve of (cuz he will kill you if he gets the chance). (Nick)
462. Lauch yourself from a catapult. (Anonymous)
463. Have a heart attack. (Gregory the Clueless)
464. Play hide and seek with Sauron. (Flamingfish)
465. Tell Legolas how Aragorn tossed Gimili in the battle at Helm's Deep. (Josette)
466. Let your mobile go off in the Council of Elrond and have it to the tune of Harry Potter. (Emma)
467. Give Sauron the 'evil eye'. (i_<3_Legolas)
468. Don't ask for directions in the Mines of Moria. (Connie Milsaps)
469. Don't roll down the side of Mount Doom into the army of orks. (don't-diss-the-king)
470. Wash in Galadriel's birdbath of doom. (lirenel)
471. Toss a dwarf. (Danielle)
472. Be Smeagol's friend. (Danielle)
473. Touch the Ring when Frodo is around. (Danielle)
474. Eat 10 cakes of lembas bread. (Danielle)
475. Tell Aragorn you love him. (Danielle)
476. Be an orc in Rohan. (Danielle)
477. Hit on Eowyn with Eomer around. (Danielle)
478. Slap Grima and call him a cur. (Danielle)
479. Kill Saruman. (Danielle)
480. Get shot by Legolas while he is actually shooting at a orc, but gimli thinks you are going to get shot by legolas, then he knocks legolases arm making him shoot you. (Luthien Luinwe)
481. Keep Gollum as a pet, use Elvish rope as a leash and feed it Lembas bread everyday. (Amy(The Quiet One))
482. Fall to your death from the side of a mountain because "someone" didn't tie the rope properly. (*cough*Sam*cough*). (Amy (The Quiet One))
483. Choke on a raw rabbit. (Amy (The Quiet One))
484. Use Galadriel's mirror as a bath tub. (Mystic Healer)
485. Remove an elf's braids without them knowing. (Mystic Healer)
486. Use Gandalf's staff as fire wood. (Mystic Healer)
487. Decorate Barad-Dur with fairy lights at Christmas time. (Mystic Healer)
488. Be Gollum anywhere near Samwise Gamgee. (Megan)
489. Play hide and seek with the eye of sauron (you hide, it seeks) and win, then die because it's angry that you could hide from it. (Amy (The Quiet One))
490. Smack Shelob with a newspaper. (Catharin)
491. Steal Arwen's jewelry. (Catharin)
492. When meeting Galadriel, repeat the word "Doom" over and over in your head. (Catharin)
493. Ask Glorfindel why he's glowing. (Catharin)
494. Ask Arwen why she's riding Glorfindel's horse. (Catharin)
495. Write a parody about Gil-Galad. (Catharin)
496. Be a mortal in middle earth and spend you whole life thinking of funny ways to die. (Amy (The Quiet One))
497. Give the Ring to Sauron. (Catharin)
498. Host your birthday party in the Shire without giving out gifts. (Amy (The Quiet One))
499. Sharpen your axe on the borders of Fangorn. (Catharin)
500. Eat the wrong kind of mushrooms. (Catharin)
501. Attempt to seduce ______. (Catharin)
502. Attempt to put jesses and a hood on Gwaihir. (Catharin)
503. Insult Shadowfax's sire. (Catharin)
504. Sing Evanescence songs. (Catharin)
505. Ask Aragorn "Who's your daddy?!". (Catharin)
506. Kill yourself when you realize all the good men are taken. (Catharin)
507. Tell Lord Elrond the room service sucks. (Catharin)
508. Take a wrong turn on the Barrow Downs. (Catharin)
509. Fall off a balcony in Rivendell. (Catharin)
510. Taunt Sauron: "You can't even catch one little hobbit! I can hear Morgoth laughing all the way from the Void!" (Catharin)
511. Start a sing-a-long in Mordor. (Catharin)
512. Call Smaug an overgrown gecko. (Catharin)
513. Climb a tree and throw rocks at the Fellowship. (Catharin)
514. Protest the War of the Ring. (Catharin)
515. Ask Galadriel why she didn't take the Ring. (Catharin)
516. Just die of old age. (Adam)
517. Food poisoning. (Catharin)
518. Be Grima after killing Saruman. (Megan)
519. Ask Haldir to "speak words we can all understand!". (Megan)
520. Ignore Gollum when you hear him agueing with himself about whether or not to kill you. (Megan)
521. Try to retake Osgiliath after it's been over run by orcs. (Megan)
522. Listen to Gollum when he tells you he knows of a secret way into Mordor. (Megan)
523. Try to take the paths of the dead when Aragorn isn't there to watch your back. (Megan)
524. Advise Aragorn to wash his hair. (white lady of rohan)
525. Play with Legolas' hair. (white lady of rohan)
526. Steal Shadowfax. (fool of a took)
527. Stand between a hobbit and beer. (fool of a took)
528. Burn like Denethor and Faramir. (fool of a took)
529. Compare Legolas' hair with Brittany Spears' in front of a giant mob of fangirls. (Tazz)
530. Tell Elrond his purple dress makes him look like an eggplant. (Rohirrimshieldmadien)
531. Give the Mouth of Sauron some Listerine & say "Yo brother you're breath stinks!". (LVEvenstar)
532. Kiss Aragorn (and he likes it) in front of Arwen. (Aragorn Rulez)
533. Say "Mmmm, Bregosteak with potatos!" in front of Aragorn. (Aragorn Rulez)
534. Be Faramir at Denethor's bbq when Pippin isn't around. (StillNotKingYet)
535. Point and laugh at the Citadel guards with the wingy-things on their helmets. Call them bird-brains and you probobly won't live to see lunch. (Tazz)
536. Beat a dwarf in a game of chance. (Drogo Baggins)
537. Go skinny dipping in mt doom. (LuthienAltarai)
538. Fight a balrog. (LuthienAltarai)
539. Video Elrond trying on Arwen's dresses and show it at the council. (LuthienAltarai)
540. Wear contact lenses that look like the eye of Sauron. (LuthienAltarai)
541. Play 'Bogies' at the council of elrond. (LuthienAltarai)
542. Streak in the council of Elrond. (LuthienAltarai)
543. Roast rabbit in front of Gollum. (Lalala)
544. Chop down the Party Tree when Frodo is around. (Sharku)
545. Trip up on the way to Shelob's lair, land on the back of a flying Nazgul, and subsequently get dissected by orcs for fun. (Merisata)
546. Ask Sauron if you're the 'apple' of his eye. (Merisata)
547. Don't listen to Smeagol when he tells you to give him the Ring. (Radagast the Brown)
548. Tell Eowyn she fights like girl. (Uinen)
549. Call Treebeard an overgrown houseplant. (Uinen)
550. Make sushi out of Gollum's fish. (Kisara_Amane)
551. Fall off the bridge of Khazad-Dum if you are not Gandalf. (Throgmorten)
552. Go bungee-jumping at the Cracks of Doom. (Throgmorten)
553. Put on the one ring and go in front of Legolas when he is going to shoot an arrow straight horazontally to kill an orc. (Cuthien or Luthien of Dorthonion)
554. Replace the ring with it's stunt double to be thrown into Orudruin. (Throgmorten)
555. Be "One of them" (battle of helms deep). (BuriedNox)
556. Try to beat Pippin at a drinking contest. (Anonymous)
557. Volunteer to play tug-of-war with one of Saruman's pet wargs. (Gethsemane)
558. Give Legolas a perm while he's asleep. (Nioniel-Nieriel)
559. Raise your hand during Theoden's 'Red Day' speech and say "Um, this is Eowyn by me." (She'll be sure to get revenge.). (Nioniel-Nieriel)
560. Borrow Anduril without asking. (Nioniel-Nieriel)
561. Try to save the ring when it falls into mount doom. (Anonymous)
562. Suggest that they play duck duck goose at The Council of Elrond to decide who takes the ring. (GandalftheFat)
563. Call Gimli "M'am". (Katie_the_elf)
564. Be Frodo when he jumps onto the boat at brandywine crossing then misses the landing and drowns. (Daniel)
565. Take flowers off of the trees of Fangorn, and put them in Legolas' hair. (teh-Nikith)
566. Ask Sauron to hold on to the ring for you. (Padan Fain)
567. Ask Shadowfax if he is a pretty pony. (Mithrandir)
568. Play musical chair with a troll( he might smush you). (Hoot)
569. Ask Gimli what is in his beard. (Mithrandir)
570. Stand behind an orc an somehow manage to smell him. (Mithrandir)
571. Break Gimli's Axe. (Deathlord)
572. Spit in Sauron's eye. (Deathlord)
573. Shave Gimli's beard clean. (Deathlord)
574. Tell a Leglolas or any other wood elf that they need a hearing aid. (Mel)
575. Shake hands with an orc. (Anonymous)
576. Skip through Mordor singing 'Kumbaya' while passing out flower wreaths. (Elidora)
577. shave Galadriel's head infront of Gimli. (Anonymous)
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9/5/2007, 3:20 pm
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Phoenix712
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Re: 500 (and counting) Ways to Die in Middle Earth
That's quite a lot of ways to die! :laugh:
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3/4/2008, 10:45 am
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Ladyhawke
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Re: 500 (and counting) Ways to Die in Middle Earth
You know I FINALLY watched the first one the other day....and I can see why you love it Queeny. I want to live in the Elvish land....what was it called....Rivendell? Beautifully done movie.
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4/6/2008, 10:51 pm
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Ladyhawke
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Re: 500 (and counting) Ways to Die in Middle Earth
Hubby got all three the other day....watched 'em marathon style when I was sick. Good grief it's too cool! I can see why it's so popular. Now question...Did Arwen become mortal or not? I'm assuming she did (maybe I missed it taking a potty break.)
But it's wonderful and I love the two goofy hobbits and I hate that Frodo wasn't able to find peace after that blasted ring drove him nuts. And even poor Gollum. And yummy Aragorn. My hubby now calls me a "woman warrior" because I told him I liked Aowen (or however her name is spelled.)
Like you've always said though it's awesomeness. :earth:
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4/12/2008, 9:10 pm
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Ladyhawke
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Re: 500 (and counting) Ways to Die in Middle Earth
OMG Queeny, I DID do that when she said that! I was like cheering and screaming, you go girl!
He bought the extended versions of one and two and the regular of three, but he's getting the extended of three this week. I'm excited, everything about this series rocks. Now I need to go read the books. Have you read "The Hobbit?" Or the lost tales? My hubby's got both, he loves LOTR stuff. Was it true it was based on WW2?
Yep, yep, LOTR rocks!
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4/15/2008, 7:47 pm
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Queenyforever
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Re: 500 (and counting) Ways to Die in Middle Earth
Well, Tolkien WAS in WW2 and I know that it influenced his life, the whole 'struggle between good and evil'...but I know that he has said in interviews before that it was not solely based on WW2...
His Middle Earth Language...is based on a Finnish Language..(Finland's Viena Karelia region)
See my HISTORY AND MYTHS AREA.....LINK
And Book of Lost Tales, (at least the stories and imaginings were put to paper....it was not actually published until after his death) WERE done while serving in the Military......here is an exert from J.R.R. Tolkien's bio...
quote:
During these last few months, all but one of his close friends of the "T. C. B. S." had been killed in action. Partly as an act of piety to their memory, but also stirred by reaction against his war experiences, he had already begun to put his stories into shape, ". . . in huts full of blasphemy and smut, or by candle light in bell-tents, even some down in dugouts under shell fire" [Letters 66]. This ordering of his imagination developed into the Book of Lost Tales (not published in his lifetime), in which most of the major stories of the Silmarillion appear in their first form: tales of the Elves and the "Gnomes", (i. e. Deep Elves, the later Noldor), with their languages Qenya and Goldogrin. Here are found the first recorded versions of the wars against Morgoth, the siege and fall of Gondolin and Nargothrond, and the tales of Túrin and of Beren and Lúthien.
The whole thing can be found HERE......in my article about J.R.R. Tolkien....Author (LINK)
I have a ton of info in here if you want to wander around......and the very top subject is for discussions on ALL or ANY of the other topics... 
I have read most of his books.....although the Silmarillion, does give me a headache trying to get through it!! :laugh:
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4/16/2008, 9:09 am
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Loveable Bitch
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Re: 500 (and counting) Ways to Die in Middle Earth
Definitely laughing at some of the silly ways to die in Middle Earth! Remind me to NEVER insult any on there!
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4/16/2008, 12:46 pm
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