Rogue9a
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Batman The Long Halloween 14: The Long Halloween
Batman
The Long Halloween
Part 14
The Long Halloween
Based off the Comic Book miniseries The Long Halloween by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale
Labor Day
Gotham City
Gotham City Jail, it wasn’t someplace Jim Gordon wanted to be at five in the Morning, but he wanted to get Maroni out of the City Jail and to someplace safer for The Boss as he awaited his new trial. Gordon had a hard time even looking at the man that destroyed his friend’s life. It wasn’t that long ago that this man was going to help Harvey Dent bring down Falcone, instead he threw acid into Harvey’s face and now he’s out there in the wind and now the top suspect as Holiday. Looking over at the Swat team member who was going to help escort Maroni he walked to the cell door with the keys in hand.
“Maroni,” Gordon put the keys into the cell door.
“What?” Maroni called out from the small bed he was lying on.
“We’re moving you, get up,” Gordon opened the door and let the swat team member walk in and bring Maroni out of the cell.
“What’s all this about,” Maroni replied as Gordon placed a pair of handcuffs on him and led him down the hallway.
“After what you did to Harvey, I almost think we should let him have you,” Gordon didn’t want to make small talk as they entered the hallway leading to the garage. “Almost.”
“Dent, coming after me, is that what this is all about,” Maroni almost seemed to laugh. Let the coward come, he doesn’t have the balls to do a man’s job.”
Before Gordon could reply Maroni let out a sharp groan as he fell to the ground, the Swat team member had already shoved him to the ground before Gordon even realized Maroni had been shot. As he groped around for his flashlight that he had lost when he was shoved he heard several more shots and the sound of another body hitting the ground. Grabbing the flashlight he pointed it at the attacker and gasped in shock.
“You, but how?” Gordon was dumbfounded. “It can’t be.”
“I am Holiday,” The killer smiled in the glow of the flashlight as Gordon slowly reached for his gun.
Calendar Man had been right, they had someone Holiday wanted Sal “The Boss” Maroni, Carmine “The Roman” Falcone’s rival and Ally. With Maroni gone a fatal blow had been struck to the Maroni Crime Family leaving just one crime family left in Gotham City. Leaping to his feet Batman threw off the helmet he had been wearing and slammed into Holiday. He should have known his gun wouldn’t punch through the Kevlar body armor of the Swat team even if it could his own armor would have protected him. After meeting with Calendar Man he had gone to Gordon and the two men came up with a plan to move Maroni thinking Harvey would come after Maroni. But that was when he thought Harvey was Holiday, never in a million years would he had thought to look at Alberto Falcone as Holiday.
“No I put you down,” Alberto cried out as Batman slammed him into the wall sending the gun flying from his grip.
“I have the Gun” Gordon grabbed the gun as he stood up. “Put him down.”
With Gordon’s orders Batman slammed his fists into Alberto’s gut and face breaking his glasses and his nose. Another punch brought him to his knees coughing up blood and gasping for air. All the frustrations of almost 11 months of terror and murder were released with each blow. With Alberto on his hands and knees Batman delivered a kick that broke three ribs.
“This is only the beginning,” Batman stood over the fallen killer as he gasped in pain. Batman grabbed Alberto by the collar and pulled him back to his feet. After 11 months Batman was finally face to face with Holiday, to find that it was the man that was to have been killed on New Years Day. The Coroner had confirmed it; his father Carmine had identified the body. Batman had gone to his Grave to confront Carmine in his quest to find Holiday. For months he suspected it had been Harvey Dent who had been killing Mobsters under the guise of Holiday, he had been wrong. Now he took it out on Alberto beating him until he no longer moved and Batman continued until he felt a hand on his arm.
“Enough, I won’t let you do something you’ll regret later,” Gordon pulled Batman from Alberto’s unmoving form that fell to the ground in a heap once Batman let him go.
“Then do what must be done,” Batman showed no remorse for his savage beating stepping away to allow Gordon to arrest him. With Gordon reading the killer his rights Batman disappeared into the hallway.
*****
Word of Alberto Falcone’s arrest spread through out Gotham City with in hours after he killed Maroni. Headlines on the afternoon editions proclaimed The Holiday Killer caught with large photos of Alberto Falcone bloody and beaten on the front page. Soon the papers and news shows began exploring what had caused Alberto Falcone, the Good son to snap and kill almost 30 people; some were even members of his father’s own crime family. For Alberto Falcone it didn’t mater what people though the truth was far more complex then what the so called experts had come to believe. Sitting alone at a table that filled up most of the space in the room that was normally used to interrogate suspects, but for this meeting it was someone powerful enough to get in to talk to a prisoner with out having to speak through phones and glass panes.
“Falcone you have a visitor,” The guard’s voice called out.
“Holiday,” Alberto whispered never taking his eyes off the two way mirror in front of him.
“Son,” Carmine walked into the room his arms outstretched to hug the son he believed to be dead.
From behind the two way mirror both Gordon and Batman watched the reunion, taking note at Alberto’s reactions. It had been perfect almost too perfect; with him being listed among the dead Alberto was free to carry out the murders with out anyone thinking to look for him. In July he killed the city coroner only slight ties to The Roman but not enough to get him killed like the other members of Falcone’s crime family that had been killed. However in a search of Alberto’s things they found the file on his murder and it seemed clear that the Coroner no longer believed Alberto was dead and was going to inform Carmine. So Alberto had killed him to cover his tracks and when his aunt Carla went snooping in August Alberto kept her from finding the truth. The killings had no motives they both hurt The Roman’s family and helped it; this was one of the reasons why it had been so hard for Batman to track down the killer.
“All the clues were there,” Gordon watched as Carmine hugged his son. “Why didn’t we catch him sooner?”
“He must have had help,” Batman kept a mental list of both the Falcone’s body language. “Alberto isn’t smart enough for something like this.”
“You think Carmine had something to do with this?” Gordon had to have guessed Batman’s thoughts were echoing his own.
“Can I get you anything,” Carmine sat in the chair across from Alberto. “I can get you a pair of those glasses you like, the purple ones.”
“I don’t need anything,” Alberto seemed disconnected from everything that was going on. “Thank you though.”
“I can get you out of here,” The Roman leaned forward and whispered so only Alberto could hear him. “Plead to Maroni’s murder, only Maroni, forget about the others and I can fix that, only if you drop the rest of this Holiday nonsense, okay.”
“Nonsense,” Alberto’s voice displayed the first sign of emotion. “Do you even know when my Birthday is? I’ll give you a hint, it falls on a holiday. Is it Christmas, New Years, how about St. Patrick’s Day, or was it Father’s day.”
“All right just calm down,” Carmine put his hands up in an effort to calm the suddenly agitated Alberto.
“It’s February 14th, Valentine’s Day,” Alberto stood to his feet both of his hands wrapped in casts. “Not that YOU would ever remember it, you were always away on business every single year.”
“I thought you understood,” Carmine was clearly flustered.
“I do understand father,” Alberto’s voce grew colder. “It’s why you sent me away to Oxford; you didn’t want me in the family business; you, your father, his father before him and so on. You thought organized crime owned Gotham City, but your wrong father. Gotham City has changed; it doesn’t want your kind anymore. Look at me, I’m bigger then all of you together, I’m Holiday.”
Halloween
For Jim Gordon it felt strange not being at Police Headquarters on a holiday, it felt even stranger to be setting on Gilda Dent’s Couch with Sarah Essen. He had planed on going home and just relaxing letting Barbra deal with trick or treaters before going to the Halloween party at Kathy Kane’s house. But Sarah had suggested that they come over. It had been a year ago that she had been injured when the Irish blew up the house she and Harvey had shared. The fateful night when the Holiday Murders started and everyone’s lives were turned upside down. Helping Gilda with giving candy they also gave her a shoulder to cry on.
“Its hard, every time the doorbell rings my heart jumps and I think has Harvey come back to me,” Gilda looked down at a picture. “But it’s just the kids, kids who want candy. Where is my husband? Is he alive why hasn’t he come back to me can you tell me that Jim. Where is my Harvey?”
*****
Across the city at Arkham, a shadowy figure walked through the halls, in his wake doors were opened for some of the cities most deranged criminals. Pamela Isley known as Poison Ivy, Jonathan Crane a former doctor at the asylum but now known as Scarecrow, The Joker and more all released from their cells. The figure stopped at Calendar Man’s cell and looked at the man who almost pleaded to be let out like everyone else. The man pulled out the scared coin and flipped it into the air where it landed clean side up. Turning away from the cell he walked away apologizing as he shut the lights out as he continued his path threw Arkham.
*****
Carmine Falcone was livid, after everything he had done for his son; Alberto turns around and upsets everything by confessing to everything. Now on the front page of the Gotham Times Carmine saw all the hopes and dreams he had for his youngest son go up in smoke. There would be nothing he could do to save his son from himself, he had confessed to every murder Holiday had committed, minus of course Alberto Falcone’s murder which had been wiped off the list. Now he would face the Gas Chamber and it didn’t look like he would fight it at all. Slamming the paper down on the counter top Carmine cleared everything that had been placed on it for dinner. Sofia could only watch as Carmine exploded in anger and tore apart the kitchen.
“My own son how dare he defy me,” Carmine threw a bottle of wine against the far wall causing it to explode in a shower of glass and wine. “He’s going to the gas chamber and I could have had the whole thing taken care of. Alberto.”
Carmine leaned on the counter his anger dissipated by the temper tantrum. Sighing he straightened himself and fixed his clothes. Back was the calm man Sofia had known as her father, as he straightened his tie the lights in the kitchen went out. “Sofia get everyone downstairs now.”
“Yes Popa,” Sofia felt her way to the doorway where Freddie her father’s new bodyguard was standing. “Freddie get everyone downstairs it could be a raid.”
*****
The hallways were littered with bodies; some strangled with vines others had the unmistakable smile of the Joker and some seemed to have died of fear. Leading the small group of survivors Carmine held a single handgun while his daughter Sofia was armed with a M16 Assault rifle, the rest of his men carried an assortment of shotguns, rifles and handguns. Coming to the doors to his office he waved Sofia forward allowing her to kick the doors in revealing the scene he dreaded the most. Through out his office several of Gotham’s leading freaks were facing the doors looking at the top Crime Boss of Gotham City. Freaks like the Mad Hatter, The Joker and The Man called the Penguin, stood or sat in front of the desk leaving only a space where the man seated in his chair could see him. Behind the Desk stood one of the biggest men he had ever seen, Solomon Grundy was what people called him. Seated in the chair at the side of the desk Poison Ivy lounged about while the Scarecrow stood behind her. Off to the side near the French doors leading out into the patio Catwoman watched with keen interest.
“Please come in,” the man seated in the shadows said pleasantly.
“What is this,” Carmine looked at the people in his office both fear and anger rising to the surface.
“This is what needs to be done,” The man’s voice sounded darker almost cold.
“What the hell does that mean freak,” Carmine couldn’t take it much longer he pointed his gun at the man seated in his chair.
“How much longer did you think I would let the Falcone’s tare Gotham City in two,” The Man sounded pleasant again. “Splitting the city between Good.”
“And Evil,” The man added in that dark and cold voice again it almost seemed to be two people sharing the same body. When the man leaned forward to stand up Falcone saw at once who this man was, it was the former DA Harvey Dent. The Left side of his face had been badly scarred, the look continued with his clothes the left side of his suit was a black pinstripe suit, while the right side was a blue pinstripe suit, the man’s tie was made up of black and blue stripes. “My City. Nice Gun, a .22 caliber. The perfect weapon to kill you both with.”
“Do it,” The Joker laughed evilly. “Then we’ll decide who gets the city.”
“I will burn this city to the ground,” Carmine noticed for the first time a jack o lantern at the Joker’s feet. “Before I let freaks have it!”
The sudden crash of one of the windows followed by smoke filling the room and a sudden flash of blinding light broke the tense discussion up causing the two sides to cover their eyes mouths to keep from breathing in the smoke. Before anyone could respond Batman came through the ceiling right on top of Solomon more flash and smoke bombs falling to the ground around him.
With a smoky haze filling the room Batman moved quick to even the odds, with Solomon already dealt with he turned his focus on The Joker. Unable to see anything the Joker was easy prey for Batman, whose eyes were protected from the flash bombs by the lenses over his eyes which also allowed him to see in the smoke. Delivering a series of well placed hits the Joker went down in a heap, making sure he wasn’t going anywhere he turned his focus on Poison Ivy. Pulling a net from his one of the pouches on his belt and quickly secured her to the floor where she wouldn’t be able to escape. With the three more dangerous people out of the way Batman made quick work of the Mad Hatter and the Penguin who on their own didn’t pose to much of a threat to him. Using a batarang he took out the Scarecrow leaving only Harvey, Catwoman and the Falcone’s.
“Catwoman,” Batman cornered her as the smoke began to filter out. “Whose side are you on?”
“The same side I’m always on Batman,” Catwoman had been an ally for over a year the fact that she was here unnerved Batman more then he thought it should. “My own.”
“Batman,” a dark and twisted version of Harvey’s voice rang out from behind him. “Again and again the courts will send them to prison or Arkham and again they will escape. And we are left with the same problems it never ends Batman.”
“Harvey?” Batman turned to face his former friend, the last man he would have expected to be here tonight. He had tracked the escaped Arkham inmates to The Roman’s penthouse never knowing Harvey was with them. Once again someone had been able to escape his notice, he wasn’t sure what bothered him more the fact that Harvey was holding a Gun to The Roman’s head or the fact that once again he someone got the drop on him again.
“Harvey’s dead, I think Two Face fits me better,” Two Face stood behind the Roman, the .22 caliber pressed against his neck.
“Don’t do this,” Batman tried to reason with what ever was left of Harvey inside Two Face. “If you kill him how will you be any different then The Roman.”
“That’s Jimbo talking,” Two Face used his free hand to flip a coin up into the air. “You know the system doesn’t work that way, Justice can’t be decided with a flip of a coin.”
Batman could only watch as the coin landed in Two Face’s hand which caused Two Face to flash a wicked Smile. With out a warning Two Face spun The Roman around and shot him twice in the head. When Carmine fell to the ground Batman could see that the coin had landed with a scarred side up.
“Two shots to the head,” Two Face’s voice almost mocked Harvey’s as he repeated the same thing he said a year ago after Johnny Viti was killed. “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.”
“Popa!” Sofia cried out from the hallway before charging into the room. “Dent I’ll kill you, you bastard.”
“It’s done,” Catwoman wrapped her whip around Sofia’s neck and jumped on her back her claws causing three scratches on her cheek. “There isn’t anything you can do.”
“I’ll kill you all,” Sofia continued to struggle crashing through the window outside.
“Don’t Sofia,” Catwoman struggled to hold onto the larger woman as they tumbled out into the world outside over 100 stories above the street. Grabbing hold of a railing she kept her grip on Sofia’s wrist.
“I’ll kill,” Sofia continued to fight against Catwoman’s hold casing her grip to slip from Sofia’s wrist to her Hand.
“Don’t you’ll kill yourself,” Catwoman felt her own grip slipping from the railing she was holding onto to. Suddenly Sofia slipped from her hands and fell leaving Catwoman to hold on for her life. “Sofia!”
Batman knew Catwoman could take care of herself his focus was on Two Face who had just killed Carmine Falcone. The two men had yet to move from their spots as they continued to stair each other down. Taking the mater into his own hands Batman stepped forward closing the gap between the two men, extending his hand he stopped close enough to take the gun.
“Harvey you still believe in Gotham, you were married here, you wanted to have a family here,” Batman tried to reason with him before Harvey was lost forever. “Think about your wife Harvey, Gilda, she needs you.”
“Gilda,” Harvey seemed to soften for a moment.
“Give me the gun Harvey,” Batman held his hand out hoping Harvey would give him the gun.
“Gilda,” Harvey took a step towards Batman before a wicked Smile came across his face. “You don’t know Gilda, Nice try Batman.”
Batman could only kick himself as Harvey clocked him in the temple with the gun knocking him backwards to the floor. Sitting there for a moment while he shook the cobwebs from his head he could hear Two Face laughing as he left the room.
*****
Vernon Fields was alone, much as he normally was, catching up on some paper work. With Harvey Dent gone he had helped Rachel Dawes who filled in as the District Attorney until an election took place to find a replacement. Rachel had already gone home along with most of the staff leaving him all alone as he finished up his work. So wrapped up in his work he failed to notice the shadow pass over him.
“Working Late again Vernon, you’ll never get ahead putting in all these extra hours,” a voice that sounded vaguely familiar came from the door way.
“Who’s there,” Vernon looked up to see a black shape of a figure silhouetted against the light behind him.
“You believe in justice Vernon, of course you do, you wouldn’t be working here if you didn’t.” The Man stepped further into the room.
“Mr. Dent,” Vernon suddenly recognized the voice and kicked himself for not realizing it earlier when he first spoke. Harvey Dent said the same thing to him on New Years Eve. “They said you were dead.”
“Did they now,” Two Face stopped in front of the desk towering over the smaller man. “You have to answer for your crimes Vernon; you have to answer for Harvey Dent.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Vernon was starting to panic he was cornered with no where to go.
“Someone gave the bottle of Acid to Maroni that he used to throw in Dent’s face, someone who had seen Maroni before the trial started that someone is you Vernon Fields. Assistant to the District Attorney Harvey Dent, a man he had come to trust. That Trust was misplaced wasn’t it Vernon, he didn’t know who bankrolled your education,” Two Face pulled his hand out from his pocket to reveal a scarred coin. “You believe in the Justice System don’t you Vernon, you didn’t spend all that money The Roman gave you for law school for nothing right? You would know then that Justice is like a coin, it has two sides. The guilty and the innocent, one clean and one scarred.”
“Please Mr. Dent don’t kill me,” Vernon knew why Harvey had come here. Taking a quick look around the room for anything that could help him but finding nothing in reach he could only watch as the coin flipped through the air and landed in Dent’s open hand. Vernon couldn’t see the coin but he could guess the result as Harvey leveled the gun and pulled the trigger.
*****
Two Face leaned on short wall that surrounded the roof of Police Headquarters, it was empty except for the spot light that Gordon used to call Batman which he had turned on when he arrived. Wiping the blood off of his hands he watched as cars drove by below; when Batman arrived he remained still continuing to wipe the blood from his hands.
“I’ve killed Twice tonight, I did what I had to do,” Harvey looked at the blood that remained.
“For now,” Two Face added
“Why?” Batman kept his distance from his former friend.
“I did what needed to be done,” Two Face turned to face Batman
“I’ll never believe that Harvey,” Batman ran threw everything he could think of has he looked for an opening. Having just come from Vernon Fields office he knew what he had done.
“Harvey, my god what’s happened to your face,” Jim Gordon had been on his way home when he was that Bat Symbol shining in the night sky. After the mess at the Falcone Penthouse he was hoping to get home and get some sleep but first he wanted to know what was going on.
“There won’t be any judges to bribe, no witnesses to disappear,” Harvey looked over at Jim. “The Roman is dead and I killed him.”
“The Long Halloween is over,” Two face turned to look at Batman.
“We get you help Harvey,” Batman continued to hope he could save his friend.
“You will be the one who needs help,” Two face gave a twisted smile.
“You’ve betrayed everything you stood for,” Gordon felt his hand move to his gun.
“Not Everything,” Harvey shook his head. “Arrest me Jimbo; let’s see how justice serves Harvey Dent.”
Watching as two cops escorted Harvey down to lock up, Batman stood at the ledge of the building his thoughts drifting back to the year before the last time all three of them met up here, back when they vowed to bring down Falcone. None of them could have known what the year would bring the three men, the pain and the loss that would happen. People always say that Hindsight is 20/20 it’s always easy to look back on the past and wish something had been different. He had lost another friend, another in a long list of friends and allies who have fallen in one way or another.
“Was it worth it?” Batman asked before Gordon left the roof himself.
“Was what worth it?” Gordon turned to look back at Batman.
“The vow we made, to bring down Falcone,” Batman’s voice seemed softer then normal. “What it cost us, Harvey.”
“If you’re asking did the good guys win, then yes the good guys won,” Gordon looked down at his shoes and paused. “But I won’t know if it was worth it for a long time.”
*****
The room was dark the only light coming from a small table lamp which highlighted the bottle of whiskey that had been set on the table. Barbra was a little surprised to find her father alone in the dark drinking, but she knew she shouldn’t be. She heard the news over the scanner; Harvey Dent had been arrested for the murders of Carmine Falcone and Vernon Fields. She was a little annoyed at the fact that the night Batman told her to hang out with friends and to be a teenager, he had been a little worried about the amount of work she was putting in but with Holiday caught he told her to relax a bit, was the night Batman could have used her help the most. She knew Robin was still training in the Batcave to sharpen his skills and only helped Batman on minor things which would soon be over; **** had told her that he was almost ready to join Batman and Batgirl in their fight. Coming up to him she placed a hand on his shoulder causing him to look up at her.
“Dad?” Barbra could see the pain in his eyes as she walked around in front of him and hugged him “I heard about Mr. Dent, that you had to arrest him. I’m so sorry Dad what are you going to do?”
“What I have to do Barbra,” Jim wrapped his arms around her as she fell to her knees. “I have to continue, I believe on Gotham City.”
*****
Standing high above my city, I reflect on the last year, the Long Halloween, I lost a lot in that year but The Roman is gone now and the Falcone family is in ruins. I made a promise to my parents the night they died; I promised them I would not rest until the City they loved was rid of the evil that took there lives. No matter what that evil looked like or what it became I was going to find it and put it away forever. I believe that somehow some way I will be able to make good on that promise. I have to, I believe in Batman.
*****
In an empty cell at Arkham Asylum, Two Face was seated in a chair, his hands and feet bound by cuffs. Awaiting a more permanent cell he was left alone with his thoughts and those of Harvey Dent. Thoughts the drifted to only one person, his wife, the woman who had promised to love him until death they parted. Facing the prospect of never seeing her again
“Gilda,” Harvey called out softly.
*****
Gotham City
Christmas Eve
The Dent household was almost empty, it had been nearly a year since they first moved into the house, Harvey had brought her home from the hospital after the bombing to see the brand new house he paid for. They were going to start over then, start a family as soon as The Roman was taken down. A promise that was never kept Harvey did take down The Roman but at the cost of his own freedom. Alone in the house Gilda Dent brought some boxes down into the basement, she had been packing up their belongings after selling the house. Once in the basement she opened up the wood heater which was blazing with a fire and started tossing items in; files, a hat and a coat and finally a .22 caliber gun.
Harvey, I did what I had to do just as you did. Remember the promise we made to each other, you said we could have a family, when you didn’t have to work so much. I read you case files, the ones about filing off serial numbers off guns and how clues are left behind at scenes. I thought if I did that Batman would never think it was me, I used your hat and coat as a disguise and left those things at the crime scenes. Johnny Viti was the first, then at Thanksgiving while you slept at my bed side I snuck off and killed the Irish. Then again at Christmas, you never knew this but my father was an old friend of Carmine Falcone’s. I kept it a secret all that time, I was known by Falcone’s people that allowed be to get up close to Milos, he recognized me before I killed him. Alberto was so disparate to get in with his father’s family, so I came up with a plan to allow him to continue the crimes so no one would think to look at me. Let them think it was always Alberto he got what he wanted he’ll go to his grave. No one will know Harvey, you are my Apollo you can do no wrong. I believe in Harvey Dent.
The End
Last edited by Rogue9a, 12/7/2007, 3:19 am
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12/7/2007, 3:16 am
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Queenyforever
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Re: Batman The Long Halloween 14: The Long Halloween
 HOLY ****! 
Ummm, Ok......so where do I start? Did you have enough twists and turns in that story??? *no! I don't think so, as I only look like a frickin' pretzel!* 
That was truly incredible!! I NEVER, NEVER would have guessed MRS. DENT......OR that she and Alberto were in it together, and cooked up HOLIDAY!!!
MAN! What a ride.......THANK YOU...THANK YOU!
(oh...sorry, I noticed a few grammar errors....hope you don't mind)
quote:
For Alberto Falcone it didn’t mater what people though the truth was far more complex then what the so called experts had come to believe.
mater=matter
though=thought
And I think that sentence needs a period after "thought", with "the" starting a new sentence.
quote:
Where is my husband? Is he alive why hasn’t he come back to me can you tell me that Jim. Where is my Harvey?”
I think perhaps this sentence needs to be broken up with comma's or perhaps made into several Questions.
Is he alive? Why hasn't he come back to me? Can you tell me that Jim?
quote:
Alberto turns around and upsets everything by confessing to everything.
Everything is perhaps used too often here.
Alberto turns around and upsets it all by confessing to everything. 
quote:
“How much longer did you think I would let the Falcone’s tare Gotham City in two,” The Man sounded pleasant again. “Splitting the city between Good.”
tare=tear (yeah, I know...to rip and the thing that falls out of our eye...same spelling, that's English for ya.
quote:
The sudden crash of one of the windows followed by smoke filling the room and a sudden flash of blinding light broke the tense discussion up causing the two sides to cover their eyes mouths to keep from breathing in the smoke. Before anyone could respond Batman came through the ceiling right on top of Solomon more flash and smoke bombs falling to the ground around him.
their eyes mouths=their eyes and mouths,
right on top of Solomon more flash =on top of Solomon. More flash OR just on top of Solomon, with more flash and smoke
quote:
he wasn’t sure what bothered him more the fact that Harvey was holding a Gun to The Roman’s head or the fact that once again he someone got the drop on him again.
the fact that once again he'd somehow gotten the drop on him.
quote:
“Popa!” Sofia cried out from the hallway before charging into the room.
either Poppa or Papa....
pa·pa (päp, p-pä) also pop·pa (päp)
n. Informal
Father.
quote:
“I’ll kill,” Sofia continued to fight against Catwoman’s hold casing her grip to slip from Sofia’s wrist to her Hand.
against Catwoman's hold, causing
quote:
Batman knew Catwoman could take care of herself his focus was on Two Face who had just killed Carmine Falcone. The two men had yet to move from their spots as they continued to stair each other down. Taking the mater into his own hands Batman stepped forward closing the gap between the two men, extending his hand he stopped close enough to take the gun.
they continued to stair = stare
mater=matter
quote:
“You don’t know Gilda, Nice try Batman.”
either period after Gilda. OR no capital "N" on nice
quote:
“I’ve killed Twice tonight,
no capital "T" on twice
quote:
“We get you help Harvey,” Batman continued to hope he could save his friend.
We "can" get you help Harvey
quote:
I kept it a secret all that time, I was known by Falcone’s people that allowed be to get up close to Milos, he recognized me before I killed him. Alberto was so disparate to get in with his father’s family,
by Falcone's people that allowed "me" to get
Alberto was so "desperate" to get in
I think that is it my friend.........sorry, if that bothers you! Let me know if you'd rather I just read the story and not make any corrections....I'm fine with that... 
But I REALLY DID LOVE THAT STORY!!! You outdid yourself on this one.
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12/7/2007, 9:29 am
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Rogue9a
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Re: Batman The Long Halloween 14: The Long Halloween
Thanks I'll get around to fixing those, some of the lines were taken from the comic so most of the time I went with them on the lines
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12/8/2007, 1:59 am
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Rogue9a
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Re: Batman The Long Halloween 14: The Long Halloween
why wouldn't I not like you doing that it makes me better.
Seeing some of those mistakes kind of showed me that I had some Rust to deal with. Its one thing to finish a story that was pretty much done its another to write a new one all together.
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12/9/2007, 12:33 am
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Rogue9a
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Re: Batman The Long Halloween 14: The Long Halloween
lol
well I was off my game with that one, with the mistakes that I made but like I said that is just Rust
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12/12/2007, 1:30 am
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Rogue9a
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Re: Batman The Long Halloween 14: The Long Halloween
yeah but once I get going again it should be good
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12/13/2007, 1:52 am
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