Rachel TheClarinetist
I'm NOT a penguin!
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Registered: 12-2004
Location: Uncanny Valley
Posts: 3141
Karma: 24 (+25/-1)
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My ever-present uncertainty.
Every moment of my life is filled with uncertainty as to what people actually think of me. Most of the people who I meet appear to like me, but people are always hiding their true feelings. I have not met one person who is completely honest about their thoughts and feelings.
It is entirely possible that people are only pretending to like me because they want something from me, or, even worse, because they hate me and are just waiting for the right moment to betray my trust; the moment when they know it will hurt me the most.
I can tell what people think about situations, I can tell what people think of each other; why can't I tell what they think of me?!
--- Breathing is important! If you don't breathe, your sound will deteriorate, your phrasing will suffer, and you will die.
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12/24/2005, 1:14 pm
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musical lottie
Lightbulb BananaFish
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Registered: 06-2005
Location: England
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Re: My ever-present uncertainty.
quote:
I can tell what people think about situations, I can tell what people think of each other;
Lucky you! What's the secret?
I too have no idea how people view me, which leads to paranoia at times. Then when they are asked what they think, how to tell whether they're being honest?!?
---
The difference between an amateur and a professional: the amateur practises until it's right; the professional practises until it never goes wrong.
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12/25/2005, 12:55 am
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dec10th2005
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Re: My ever-present uncertainty.
Rachel,
When I say you're a great person, I really do mean it. Unlike 80% of the world, you understand life. Now, I just read stuff in the cuttings topic. I'm concerned for you. I say, please, get your mind off the usual things. If you ever feel down again, alone or such, just talk to someone about it or get it out on this blog. Best get it out yeah.
Btw- what's up with the karma points thingy on this site? How do you score?
Last edited by dec10th2005, 1/17/2006, 11:03 am
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1/17/2006, 10:33 am
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Rachel TheClarinetist
I'm NOT a penguin!
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Registered: 12-2004
Location: Uncanny Valley
Posts: 3141
Karma: 24 (+25/-1)
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Re: My ever-present uncertainty.
Yeah... the cutting topic...
Yeah. I cut. For many reasons. One of them being that it's fun and that blood is a nice red colour. I told you I was disturbed, didn't I? It comes with the terrritory of being intelligent, creative and a thinker.
I wish there was some way to get you not to worry about me. Despite the fact that I was referred to a psychiatrist a few months ago, I have stitches in my arm from cutting too deeply, and there is a possibility that one day I'll get fed up with everything and walk off the nearest cliff, I'M FINE. Ok? So stop worrying.
As for thinking...
Even though my thoughts may trouble me, thinking is infinitely preferable to not thinking. I get genuinely suicidal when I don't have anything to think about. I'm sure that's the last thing you'd want.
In summary.... STOP WORRYING. I'M OK.
--- Breathing is important! If you don't breathe, your sound will deteriorate, your phrasing will suffer, and you will die.
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1/21/2006, 1:47 pm
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Rachel TheClarinetist
I'm NOT a penguin!
Global user
Registered: 12-2004
Location: Uncanny Valley
Posts: 3141
Karma: 24 (+25/-1)
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Re: My ever-present uncertainty.
As for the karma: people can applaud or smite you as they wish, which makes it go up and down. It's basically a rating of how much people like you.
--- Breathing is important! If you don't breathe, your sound will deteriorate, your phrasing will suffer, and you will die.
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1/21/2006, 4:39 pm
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dec10th2005
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Registered: 12-2005
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Karma: 3 (+3/-0)
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Re: My ever-present uncertainty.
Yes, ok, I'll let things be 
Yay!! I have +2 karma
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1/25/2006, 8:16 pm
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