Rachel TheClarinetist
I'm NOT a penguin!
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On honesty
21/10/05
When a friend asks a question, and we know that the answer will hurt them, most of us will lie, or at the very least, distort the truth to avoid hurting their feelings. Are we not insulting our friends by doing this? Are we not saying, in essence "You can't handle the truth!".
Would it not be better to tell the truth and risk hurting them, thereby paying them a great compliment: "I know that what I say will hurt you, but I admire your inner strength and believe you can deal with the pain of what I am about to tell you"? Is it not better to compliment a friend's strength than to (albeit indirectly) insult their weakness?
When we lie, we cannot guarantee that we will be able to maintain the illusion forever. Anyone who has lived knows the pain that arises from the realization that one has been lied to; that one's beliefs about the universe do not fit with the actuality of the universe. Complete honesty, although it may hurt deeply at the time, will harm one less deeply and cause less lasting damage than discovering a lie and having one's illusions shattered. While the truth may be hideous, it becomes more hideous if we had previously believed in a beautiful, shining lie.
That being said, there is value in learning to use tact. We do not wish to kill our friends with our admiration.
--- Breathing is important! If you don't breathe, your sound will deteriorate, your phrasing will suffer, and you will die.
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12/24/2005, 1:05 pm
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musical lottie
Lightbulb BananaFish
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Re: On honesty
I couldn't agree more. Thing is, from experience, many people don't view it that way. Which is annoying when one starts to realise that perhaps they should just have lied, instead of telling the truth and digging themselves into a hole. A lot of the time it's just easier to say nothing at all, although when asked, one has to decide whether to tell the truth or to be 'nice' and lie. Oh silly me - the scenario was 'when a friend asks a question ... ' I'm an idiot.
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The difference between an amateur and a professional: the amateur practises until it's right; the professional practises until it never goes wrong.
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12/25/2005, 12:47 am
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Rachel TheClarinetist
I'm NOT a penguin!
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Registered: 12-2004
Location: Uncanny Valley
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Karma: 24 (+25/-1)
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Re: On honesty
No, no, no. you aren't a idiot. Your answer does apply to the situation. It is possible to give answers that aren't really answers. Also, my reasoning applies even if the friend has not asked a question.
--- Breathing is important! If you don't breathe, your sound will deteriorate, your phrasing will suffer, and you will die.
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12/31/2005, 1:23 pm
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musical lottie
Lightbulb BananaFish
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Re: On honesty
Oo OK, cool 
---
The difference between an amateur and a professional: the amateur practises until it's right; the professional practises until it never goes wrong.
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1/3/2006, 8:51 am
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