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PennyfortheGuy
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Re: Bored and between stories
quote:
Vienna7 wrote:
Those that aren't that good at these two skills, don't become too popular or are even ignored. Some realize this off the bat and don't post, but continue to lurk.....
Okay, I got long winded again...
Vienna, are you pshycic?  I have felt what you described many times here. I don't think anything of it because Im here for the love of V. If some people seem to ignore my contribution I put it down to the impersonality of the internet. Problem is there is no body language we can read to help us in our judgment of how others see us. We rely them responding to our posts to validate our acceptance in the same way child would rely on a look or a smile in the playground to know they are accepted. In the absence of that response, we doubt our acceptance and feel more comfortable to remain quiet and just look around. Maybe some people need a gentle reminder that the same courtesy should prevail here as in normal face to face conversations. If someone speaks, it is common courtesy to acknowlege them with a response as your smile or laugh at what they said will never be seen.
As for barbs, humour can be very hard to judge on the net which is why we use smilies. Sometimes we forget and leave them out or choose the wrong one. For example FriendlySF's post of:
Better late than never, I guess 
appeared as if she was laughing at Biscom (Im sure that FSF is mortified that it may have come across that way). If she had posted the following response:
Better late than never, I guess 
The impression would have been a different one altogether. Unfortunately, through the wrong impression, Biscom's tentative attempt at chatting was put to an end. Hopefully she will try again later.
Last edited by PennyfortheGuy, 11/5/2006, 1:45 pm
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11/5/2006, 4:10 am
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friendlysolarflare
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Re: Bored and between stories
quote:
PennyfortheGuy wrote:
As for barbs, humour can be very hard to judge on the net which is why we use smilies. Sometimes we forget and leave them out or choose the wrong one. For example FriendlySF's post of:
Better late than never, I guess
appeared as if she was laughing at Biscom (Im sure that FSF is mortified that it may have come accross that way).
Believe me, I am mortified that someone thinks that I'm laughing at Bisom - that was never my intention.
The "name" for this emote: is "Vgiggle" and to me that means something like "little smile, no harm intented". I would have used this emote:  if laugh had been my intention.
quote:
If she had posted the following response:
Better late than never, I guess
The impression would have been a different one altogether.
Yes, the impression would have been very different - as if I wanted to ridicule Biscom and that wasn't the message I wanted to send out.
To comment on the "this forum is mostly for those who can dissect and analyse V's motives" part: it's a thing I just can't do, my English vocabulary is just too limited. I enjoy reading the "page-long dissertations" (I love that phrase btw) but I visit those threads in lurk-mode only.
But there are so many other ways to contribute to this board: we have many different kinds of games in the Diversions section, we share photos, funny links, jokes, watch movies together and it's possible to rant/cry in the Rant thread, just to give a few examples.
To me this board is about so many other things than V now. This - and the fact that the atmosphere here is so friendly - has made me stay, because originally I had no idea that I would stay this long - or that I would pass the "10 posts mark".
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11/5/2006, 8:37 am
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PennyfortheGuy
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Re: Bored and between stories
quote:
friendlysolarflare wrote:
Yes, the impression would have been very different - as if I wanted to ridicule Biscom and that wasn't the message I wanted to send out.
Sorry FSF, I was just trying to help out. Maybe I should go to smilie reading school.  I always thought it was better to talk things through rather than let them fester, I still do.
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11/5/2006, 1:52 pm
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friendlysolarflare
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Re: Bored and between stories
quote:
PennyfortheGuy wrote:
quote:
friendlysolarflare wrote:
Yes, the impression would have been very different - as if I wanted to ridicule Biscom and that wasn't the message I wanted to send out.
Sorry FSF, I was just trying to help out.
I know  and you did by making me think about this.
quote:
Maybe I should go to smilie reading school.
Me too I guess this is a good example of how different interpretations of the same symbol can cause trouble
I just wanted to explain why I didn't used the smiley in my original post - my intention was not to  you, I beg of you not to think so.
quote:
I always thought it was better to talk things through rather than let them fester, I still do.
I agree 100%
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11/5/2006, 2:11 pm
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Doctor Delia
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Re: Bored and between stories
Dear friendlysolarflare,
I didn't intend to hurt your feelings. I certainly didn't think you were making fun of Biscom.
It's just that at other threads, Biscom and maybe VickyV tend to get reprimanded sometimes for their non sequiturs.
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11/5/2006, 2:23 pm
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PennyfortheGuy
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Re: Bored and between stories
FSF, DD, feel better after our "little chat"? I do. Maybe we could make it up to Biscom and VickyV by validating their comments a bit more. Hope they haven't left for good!
DD, I just love your descriptive phrases "page-long dissertations" and "non sequiters". The second one had me looking up my thesaurus!
Last edited by PennyfortheGuy, 11/5/2006, 2:41 pm
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11/5/2006, 2:38 pm
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friendlysolarflare
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Re: Bored and between stories
quote:
Doctor Delia wrote:
Dear friendlysolarflare,
I didn't intend to hurt your feelings.
Dear Doctor Delia, you didn't hurt my feelings, surprise/sadness was probably better words for what I felt when I read your original post. I'm sorry that I used the word mortified (I have to use my dictionary a little bit more when it comes to words like that).
quote:
I certainly didn't think you were making fun of Biscom.
 thanks, that's a relief
quote:
It's just that at other threads, Biscom and maybe VickyV tend to get reprimanded sometimes for their non sequiturs.
I agree with you - I just though that my little was the last straw, and the was not intended to be a reprimand or mock.
quote:
PennyfortheGuy wrote:
FSF, DD, feel better after our "little chat"? I do.
I do too what doesn't make this easier is that English is not my first language - it's so easy to use the wrong words 
Last edited by friendlysolarflare, 11/5/2006, 2:41 pm
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11/5/2006, 2:38 pm
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CyranoRox
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Re: Bored and between stories
Dr Delia wrotequote:
But I've been conversing with some of you at the IMDb since the movie opened in April, under a different name, of course.
Oh. And a half-horrifying surmise crosses my mind....even paranoids may have enemies....not everyone at the poker table need be bluffing. You seem to know a surprising set of things, and the touch of cold-eyed realism is suggestive, and the point of view sometimes more like an insider than outsider. Perhaps the hints lead to someone behind the cameras. If you are one of the Clever Movie People, or even Someone We Think We Know, good work.
**sweeps a bow of homage, peeking from under an eyebrow**
Work with play the happy differentiation
-this turned out to be the most useful motto!
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11/5/2006, 2:54 pm
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Vienna7
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Re: Bored and between stories
quote:
PennyfortheGuy wrote:
Vienna, are you pshycic? I have felt what you described many times here.
Not psychic, but I do love to analyze the sociological and psychological aspects of forums and newsgroups.
What's also very interesting is how the social values change when people are in person. Other things are *read* - attractiveness, guesses at socio-economic levels, non-verbal communication...etc.. all sensory data not available on the internet (well, maybe one can somewhat tell the socio-econ. level).
quote:
I don't think anything of it because Im here for the love of V. If some people seem to ignore my contribution I put it down to the impersonality of the internet.
I know from my own personal style, I am usually a hurried writer and respond quickly. Then I've gone back and realized I forgot to respond to someone or read a post I didn't have time or the inclination to read at the time. I don't care too much if people ignore me because they aren't real people that affect my life, IRL. Now IRL, I place much more weight on communication and relationships. But online, to me it's part fantasy and I've learned not to take it too personally.
quote:
Problem is there is no body language we can read to help us in our judgment of how others see us. We rely them responding to our posts to validate our acceptance in the same way child would rely on a look or a smile in the playground to know they are accepted. In the absence of that response, we doubt our acceptance and feel more comfortable to remain quiet and just look around.
EXACTLY! Excellent point, but I wouldn't let it stop you from posting. Maybe it's me, but I just post for posting's sake. While it's nice to get a response (esp, if you wrote a long, detailed post), to me some people just won't be into what I write and that's okay. I've posted new topics where no one has responded and have taken that as "I'm just not that interested" to "Let me take a look at her link, but not take the time to make a comment" to "I don't like what she posted." All are acceptable responses to me. I guess I've just learned to let much of this stuff go.
---
In honor of KaTie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beauty is just the beginning of a terror we can only just barely endure,
and we admire it so because it calmly disdains to destroy us.
Every angel is terrible. (Rilke's elegy)
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11/5/2006, 8:50 pm
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Vienna7
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Re: Bored and between stories
quote:
Doctor Delia wrote:
Apologies Chancellor (Leda), FSF, Vienna 7, Cyrano, and anyone else I may have flamed. I guess I just had a hard day.
No need to apologize to me. I didn't feel your comments were directed to me at all. Here's a for your hard day!
quote:
As for the page-long dissertations, I'm guilty as charged!
Nothing wrong with these as long as the poster doesn't think they're better than those than don't (and I am not referring to you DD). But I've seen this happen in a few other groups, esp. with highly educated members.
quote:
I totally agree. This is THE nicest site I have ever been a part of, and I too have been on some pretty fractious boards myself, where arguments can go on for months.
This is a nice site, but alt.religion.wicca.moderated was a great one too! Many are long time posters and idiotic trolls are not tolerated. But anything is allow (if on-topic) and the only moderation that happens if if someone does an "ad hominem" attack - i.e. written attack directed at the person - e.g. "You're an idiot." It was mostly a peaceful site with some VERY knowledgeable people. Moderators were in their positions for a specific period of time and then subscribers voted for the next mod. It was a very democratic site!
---
In honor of KaTie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beauty is just the beginning of a terror we can only just barely endure,
and we admire it so because it calmly disdains to destroy us.
Every angel is terrible. (Rilke's elegy)
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11/5/2006, 9:05 pm
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