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Venturous
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How have you changed since V?
Since returning from the First Annual Vixens in London event (sadly, it had to end!) I have been even more grateful for the changes in my life since I first saw V4V. So I thought I'd throw it out for discussion.
How have you changed since V came into your life?
so, no pressure, but here are a few prompting questions to get your juices flowwing. answer one or more or make up your own.
What inspired/inspires you?
What 'coincindences' have occured?
What surprised you about your evolution over the past 20 months?
What will never be the same?
What have you seen/done/imagined that you never thought possible?
Where are you headed next?
---  "There is no certainty, only opportunity." -- V
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11/19/2007, 4:43 pm
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Iseult1124
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Re: How have you changed since V?
Excellent questions/topic Ven!
I'll answer a couple of the questions off the top of my head, and probably come back later after work and class to look more in depth.
*"Coincidences" - I would have to say all of the events leading up to the meeting of Vixens in London - from stumbling across this site many moons ago, to not actually entering the tunnel for the Heathrow tube station until you and ButMad were there to meet me as I rounded the corner.
*Seen/done/imagined that I never thought possible - again I would have to say my trip to London (particularily the Egyptian display at the British Museum) and meeting people in person that I had only conversed with online. Prior to V, although I may have eventually made it to England, I never would have done it to meet people I didn't know. I've always been cynical and distrustful of people, moreso since my time as a Criminal Investigations major. In all honesty, I am still cynical and distrustful of people - it's just that there is something wonderfully unique about Vixens - we present ourselves exactly as we are.
I also never thought that I would be comfortable in my own skin. I'm not quite there yet - at least when I'm with my family. My 10 days in England were wonderful in that I was very comfortable just being me. I didn't feel like anyone was judging me, or that I was disappointing someone. I was no longer in an environment where my perpetual single-hood was not joked about, and my tendency towards loner-ness or my quirky sense of humor/tendency to laugh at everything were not looked at askance.
I was free.
*What will never be the same? - quite simply put, I will never be the same. I've had a taste of freedom, and I want more. I do believe that I finally have the gumption to make changes in my life that are long since overdue. Lose the weight that I've long been struggling with. Officially put myself on the market, so to speak (while I enjoy the freedom that comes with being single, I am still incredibly lonely at times. And, in looking back I think that I've been subconsciously telling people that I was not on the market) - perhaps starting with actively pursuing the relationship with a guy friend that I used to work with - a relationship who's possiblity has always been present, if I had only gone about it the right way.
Basically stop making excuses for the uniqueness that is me.
Also, I've long been an Anglo-phile, and now having been to London, it's worse. To the point that, when the opportunity presents itself (as this trip did) I will move to my home.
Like I told my aunt when she asked how my trip was - "It felt like coming home."
I have to thank the catalyst that is  for that.
I guess that's all I had to say after all, although I'll leave my thinking cap on for a little while.
--- 
Made for me by ButMadNNW!
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11/20/2007, 1:33 pm
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Venturous
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Re: How have you changed since V?
I have a new name.
My art has completely transformed and is headed somewhere unknown and exciting.
I have so many amazing magical friends in person, online and 'imaginary' that I love to play with.
I write more.
I take chances, that's not new, but I am much less fearful, and more confident.
I actually gave up 'self (un)employment' and got a job that I love. That took admitting that I wasnt happy as an independant contractor, among other challenges.
I lost almost 80 pounds.
Heather, you nailed it: I FEEL FREE.
more later!
--- "There is no certainty, only opportunity." -- V
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11/21/2007, 10:53 am
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Doctor Delia
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Re: How have you changed since V?
In some ways, I don't think V has changed me all that much. I'm still, at heart, the same person I was on the Eve of Mar. 17th, 2006, the same person that I always was. The only difference is that aspects of my personality which have been cut off are coming to the fore and the somewhat timid external persona that I spent most of my life creating is receding.
I guess everyone has the so-called "Secret Garden" dream from time to time, where you pass by some familiar location in your familiar neighborhood, that in life you've always ignored, but in the dream it suddenly opens up a new vista of wonderful possibilites. At times I would have this dream maybe 30 times in the span of a few months, maybe with 30 different variations. It's a common dream in my family apparently...What V has done is to point out several paths in the real world out of my humdrum condition.
And what usually keeps us on the straight and narrow? FEAR. Fear of trying and failing, mostly. Fear of the unknown. All kinds of fears. Fear gets the best of us, and in our panic we turn to order....
This movie has been better than years of therapy, better than religion, better than Buddhism, better than self-help books...How can a few words give me the insight that I've been lacking for so many years? Why is this somewhat ridiculous black-clad character the key to my inner imagination? But you know, since the movie has opened, and I've been chatting on line with all of you, I haven't had a single day of depression!
Here are the specific things V has done for me:
I was not being paid fairly at my job, so I simply told my boss that I would work few hours but that he would pay me the same rate. I then took another job one day per week and doubled my income. And I still am working only 4 days a week.
When I had little money in my savings account, I started to buy artwork, even though I thought I could not afford it. And it all worked out for the best.
I changed the way I was studying art. Previously I was in a very tight program of scientific illustration, which was so rigid in their approach, that I used to get headaches trying to get my work done. Now I'm at a regular art school, studying fiigure drawing and commercial illustraion and loving it.
I would not go into museums because of my frustrations. Now I look at museums as places to commune with really good art teachers.
I had a fear of dieting and exercise, that they wouldn't work, but once I lost my fear of them, they worked and I lost 15lbs. (I need to push further, though. Ven you're an inspiration.)
I had a fear of changing my hairstyle and hairdresser, because it was safer not to. Since I changed "my "look"
I've been so much happier.
After V, I went on a tear and changed much of the decorating in my condo. I painted walls in different colors and used faux painting techniques. I no longer look at decorating magazines. The Shadow Gallery is my ideal.
I always loved to wear boots. I bought 3 pairs last winter and they were wonderful.
I visit my relatives and friends more often. I don't fear the consequences.
I'm freer in offering praise of students and co-workers (when it's justified.) I don't care if people think I'm "buttering them up" because I'm not.
Reading the graphic novel has led me to a study of Anarchism, which is really socialism. I've read Bertrand Russell, Daniel Guerin, and (for fun) Tom Hodgkinson, and they have made me realize that working harder is not for our good but for the good of the bosses. So I don't work so hard.
I have an interest in theater again, thanks to our favorite veteran vaudevillian.
Basically, I have HOPE. (Hope that the future will not be more of the past.)
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11/22/2007, 5:16 am
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CyranoRox
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Re: How have you changed since V?
Like Dr D, I feel that rooms and attics long shut and forgotten are open, aired and illuminated.
For a time, my inner critic was off duty - I had no anxiety at all. That could not last, but I've made peace with 'her' and the hypostasis is working more in unison than ever before.
I have felt like writing again. I had not completed any piece in a decade. With V, I wanted to.
V seems like coming home to myself; a self to which I am mysteriously reconciled.
I have dared to show myself; to the Board, to the Vixens in person; to my workmates; to anyone who cares to look. I have resolved to be and live as transparently as possible, disdaining secrecy.
V has been fuel for the 'analytic engine', my capacity to analyze and work out meanings. I feel that a side of myself has woken, been fed, and developed renewed appetite.
V made me think about the mystery of identity, the depth of eros, and the power of beauty, as nothing had done before.
I wish every blessing on the Clever Movie People; life, peace, health, joy, and the rest.
oh, and on a lighter note, i now find Agent Smith rather appealing, a bigger aesthetic reversal than I had thought possible
Work with play the happy differentiation! 
Last edited by CyranoRox, 11/24/2007, 10:28 pm
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11/24/2007, 9:38 pm
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Venturous
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Re: How have you changed since V?
quote:
The only difference is that aspects of my personality which have been cut off are coming to the fore and the somewhat timid external persona that I spent most of my life creating is receding.
Well said, Dr. D... perhaps for all of us, parts of ourselves we felt had to be hidden or downplayed can now blossom.
CR writes:
quote:
I feel that a side of myself has woken, been fed, and developed renewed appetite.
Iseult writes:quote:
stop making excuses for the uniqueness that is me.
yes! parts of ourselves we were trying to diminish, starve... but who need to LIVE.
V lost everything obvious... his very identity was burned away. What remained? core values, passion, commitment, and who he was a t the center.
So I feel that I am inspired by his story to forge myself true and strong.
--- "There is no certainty, only opportunity." -- V
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11/29/2007, 7:14 pm
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Doctor Delia
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Re: How have you changed since V?
 LOL, FAF!!!
I just noticed your new avatar, Ven!
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11/29/2007, 8:36 pm
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CyranoRox
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Re: How have you changed since V?
karma to round you up!
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11/30/2007, 7:28 pm
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Brett H
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Re: How have you changed since V?
Nope, I haven't changed a bit.
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2/5/2008, 2:08 pm
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