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Leda74
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Re: Overture (short story)
Thanks, dearest  I think the most important part of this is that while I am having fun writing, in another measure, it's all quite involuntary. I spent many years in the wilderness, and it appears that I built up quite a head of steam in that time. Now it's escaping under pressure.
I believe I know what you mean by 'self-indulgent', and no, that isn't why I'm here. I freely admit that while there are aspects of V's personality that perturb me, I would nonetheless never dream of omitting them just to satisfy my wish for him to be someone else.
--- "What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil" - Friedrich Nietzsche
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5/8/2006, 3:50 pm
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Vendetta Vixen
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Re: Overture (short story)
my oh my, that was pure genius! And trust me, when it comes to fan fic, I am VERY hard to please!
Man, all this great fan fic is making me wish to pick up my long forgotten pen again and write something!
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5/9/2006, 5:47 am
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Leda74
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Re: Overture (short story)
quote:
Vendetta Vixen wrote:
Man, all this great fan fic is making me wish to pick up my long forgotten pen again and write something!
Please, please, please do  I for one am just as curious about other people's interpretations as I am about my own.
--- "What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil" - Friedrich Nietzsche
"V For Vendetta" Shrine
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5/9/2006, 9:42 am
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Leda74
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Re: Overture (short story)
Chapter 2 is up... 
Overture: Chapter 2
--- "What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil" - Friedrich Nietzsche
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5/9/2006, 3:19 pm
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VisOratoris
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Re: Overture (short story)
Oh great chapter! I really love the progress of this story! And the development of V's character is so natural! Keep writing! Can't wait to read the next!
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"At the risk of seeming ridiculous, let me say that the true revolutionary is guided by a great feeling of love. It is impossible to think of a genuine revolutionary lacking this quality." Ernesto Che Guevara
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5/10/2006, 6:04 am
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MelindaKitty
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Re: Overture (short story)
Hi!!!!
*hugs Leda* GO YOU!!!!
I'll do the icky-picky first:
1) You wander in POV (point of view). Most fanfic does, though you'd kept pretty tight POV before so it was jarring to me. In your defense, you do most transitions smoothly in most cases, but keep an eye on them. There was one second I was enjoying being V and suddenly I was Gordon. The effect is like at a dance when someone cuts in without asking first.
2) A few minor typos, mostly with quotes or tense agreements. Most readers won't care, but I notice 'cause... well... I'm a tough crowd. And your prose is normally so seamless that the few nitties are glaring.
3) I love the tone of your work, but keep an eye on the conservation of language. It's not always neccessary to "elocute" when you can "say". Your voices are mostly very strong, (Ann's voice is loud and clear, and your best vocabulary is often reserved for V, as it should be.) Language is the creme filling that makes the confection, but only when necessary. FWIW. And let me say that your vocabulary IS exquisite. (This wavers in praise and criticism because you are walking a damn fine line, and you mostly tred it well.)
Now the awesome:
1) I LOVE LOVE LOVE the mask! Stroke of genius. The whole way the thing is handled is wonderful, your Goth-chick artisan is marvelous, and V's reaction to it is excellent. Spot on again. I also love the curtain of hair to hide his face and the obsidian eyes.
2) Your imagery is exquisite as always throughout. The sensual (as in the original definition of the word refering to things that involve the senses) language immerses me in the world. And I could eat the prose with a spoon like a sinfully rich dessert. I find myself rolling some of your words around on my tongue just because I enjoy the taste of them so. And because they are so evocative of the characters and the world they describe.
3) I love the way you handle character, whether it's Gordon, V, or indeed everyone else around them. Moreover, Gordon's fascination with and fixation on V reads true to form. AND, cooler still, you give V a moment of vulnerability without making him weak, weepy, whiny, or just a wuss. That only makes him the more splendid when his strength (e.g. the mask) is returned.
4) I have a real sense of forward progression. Your pace is leisurely, but you're not wandering. I know you're up to something and I'm all pins and needles to find out what. That's a good thing 'cause, as I've said before, I'm a tough crowd.
5) Your closing hook rocks my world. (Definition: closing hook is the final image you give to the audience. Ideally, it makes the readers gasp in horror, passion, anticipation, or some equally strong emotion, then they just HAVE to turn the page and keep reading.) I have the sense of a puzzle piece being slotted into place here. It's the kind of hook that makes me rub my hands in glee, eagerly anticipating the next chapter. KUDOS!!!
As with any critique, this should all be taken with a grain of salt. YOU are the author and should do things YOUR way because it's YOUR work.
 
Last edited by MelindaKitty, 5/10/2006, 7:40 am
--- 
"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence."
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5/10/2006, 7:22 am
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Chakram
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Re: Overture (short story)
Lovely chapter, Leda. I think you've got Gordon's characterization spot-on (including the beginnings of the world-weary demeanor we see flashes of in the movie). I also love how you're revealing V's qualities and personality in these early days.
And excellent backstory on the Walker Hotel!
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V: "Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power."
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5/10/2006, 10:10 am
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