Owl
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Old men are fast
An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several
years.
He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables,
horseshoe
courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped
and
fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he
hadn't
been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon
bucket
to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with
glee.
As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women
skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you
leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim
naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Moral: Old men can still think fast
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10/18/2005, 4:59 am
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Owl
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Re: Old men are fast
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things
that are important to each other."
He addressed the man,
"Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered,
"It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
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10/18/2005, 8:09 am
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Owl
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Re: Old men are fast
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
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10/18/2005, 8:10 am
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Owl
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Re: Old men are fast
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
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10/18/2005, 8:11 am
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Owl
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Re: Old men are fast
A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
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10/18/2005, 8:12 am
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Owl
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Re: Old men are fast
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh,
rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
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10/18/2005, 8:12 am
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Owl
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Re: Old men are fast
You need to laugh more.LOL
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10/18/2005, 6:02 pm
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Owl
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Re: Old men are fast
I spent too many years being miserable. When I'd had enough of that I decided that the old me was far far happier and far better at handling lifes problems. I went back to being the clown, laughing half the time and I have been much happier since.
Laughter really does help.
Mind you, others may concider me nuts, but isnt that all part of the laugh.LOL
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10/19/2005, 5:41 am
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