Owl
Senior Member
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Ant and the GrassHopper..Canadian Style
Subject: The Ant & The Grasshopper........
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool,
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant
is
warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter,
so he
dies out in the cold.
THE END
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
THE CANADIAN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool,
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant
is
warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
why
the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less
fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.
The CBC, CTV, Global and CityTV showed up to provide live coverage of
the
shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his
comfortable
warm home with a table laden with food.
Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Conservatives, NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty
demonstrate in front of the ant's house. Television broadcasts show
them
singing "We Shall Overcome."
Sven Robinson rants in an interview with Pamela Wallin that the ant
has
gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate
tax
hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
In response to supposedly Conservative polls, the Liberal Government
drafts
the Economic Equity and
Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of
the
summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to
hire
grasshoppers as helpers.
Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed
retroactive
taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
The ant moves to the USA, and starts a successful agribiz company.
The television networks later show the now fat grasshopper finishing
up the
last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the
government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
house,
crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Roy Romanow is appointed to
head a
commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star
blames it
on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of
despair >arising from social inequity.
The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders,
praised
by the government for enriching Canada's multicultural diversity, who
promptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.
THE END
Sadly that is becoming our reality
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11/22/2005, 4:46 am
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wolflady
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Re: Ant and the GrassHopper..Canadian Style
With a few minor changes this could also be the good ole U S of A. But I am going to send this to my Canadian relatives who will certainly definitely see the humor.
Nanc
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2/21/2006, 5:02 am
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