ryoko
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Heh... I See You
There may be some things in here that may appear once and a while that are not exactly good... So the rating is PG-13 and may scale higher...
Strange how it all seems to come back into my mind in its horribly drugged state. Almost like a scary awakening to it all within my spliting headaches and stomache lurches. Prices to pay for trying to get a small high; something I have longed to have for the past two months of my confinement within stilled walls and loneliness. I frankly can't stand the silence that covered it all, and releasing it in screams would be best. However, this is the best step to take.
Heh... I See You
Stupidity. I wanted that more than anything to shove into my idiotic head, something to make myself more stupid. It made me feel better, so what the hell? Who could be effected from it all besides me? I was the one ****ed up and needing this, not some kid who got this stuff for the hell of it. No, I needed this more than anything. Anything to get away from those damn accusing eyes. Staring at me as if they peered into my soul. Giving me pity because they thought I needed it. Because they though I was being abused. Well, damn them to hell and everyone else who ever thought a single damned thought about me before they ever ****ing got to hear a word from my mouth. I'd show them. I'd get so far stoned I might die.
It was a Friday, nothing special. I was going over to a friend's house to spend the night. I didn't really happen to mention she was five years older than me. I mean, she lived down the street. Our street, just about four houses down. Her name was Alysha and she was sixteen. I met her though my friend Jason, this dude who I started talking to one day when I saw him smoking a square outside on the corner of Elmhurst and 50th. I'd only known him for about a week, but he had what I wanted, and his friends did too. It didn't occur to me that he lied when he said he was only fourteen. Hell, he was the size to fit. Never really crossed my mind he could have been older...
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"You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm. "--Colette
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5/12/2004, 10:41 pm
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ryoko
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Re: Heh... I See You
I hadn't bothered to really tell the folks where I really was going. I had just said I was going to go to my friend Katie's house to spend the night, do a little fence hopping to get there. Of course we all had known Katie and I had stopped talking four years before this, so I'm not really sure what was going in their minds when I did this.
All I had with me was a pillow cover, something that I could use incase I needed to throw up. I'd never tried anything really at that time, not even squares. All I had ever done by then was drink liquor, which was probably in my system at birth anyways, so I didn't know what to expect. By the time I got to Alysha's house, I notcied two more cars in her drive way than I ever really saw. I didn't know it at the time, but they belonged to Justin, a sixteen year old, and the other's was Jason's.
When I knocked at the door, I noticed the blinds go up in the window and Alysha's face looking at me then turning around. The door opened and stood Jason. He was pretty much naked, except for a pair of boxers. I'm pretty sure I was gapping or something similar at him in the doorway when he roughly grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. I think I let out a yelp or something, because when I came in, everyone was laughing. When I say everyone though, I mean Alysha, Jason, Justin, and Stephen. I knew Stephen though, since he was only thirteen and had been my friend for three years, which made me very shocked to see him. I'm pretty sure he noticed my shocked face, which was why he stood up and pulled me over by him.
"Relax Jordan, been doing this for a ****ing long time now, I'll take you through it lightly..." He started in a very calming tone, which made everything I was trying to do seem more impossible. I threw down the pillow case and grabbed the nearest bottle of liquor they had, which happened to be a very strong vodka, and gulped down as much as I could without coughing up a monstrous storm.
That seemed to impress the new guy, Justin, who then laughed and grinned at me as I coughed up spit and a bit of vodka as it burned my throat and mouth. "You've got some serious balls to be able to do that chick. Jason wasn't wrong when he said you're one ****ed up little *****." Everyone around me laughed, causing me to turn my head up quickly with aggitation.
I then noticed what was going around and what else was on the table. A little pipe like thing with smoke coming lightly from it and a lighter, were being passed around from person to person. Alysha, sitting next to me with it, told me after she inhaled through one end, it was a bong with weed in it. She carefully placed the part she inhaled through in my mouth, telling me to breathe in when she lit the stuff on top. I breathed in as deep as I could and held it in my mouth. It tasted bad and made me want to cough and throw up. After a few second, I couldn't hold it in anymore and let my breath go. I felt lightheaded. It was the best I ever felt.
The next thing I knew, Justin had scooted beside me to get the bong, which I then learned was called "hitting" it. When he passed it over to Jason, he looked at me and grinned. It kind of scared me. "Jordan, right? What the hell you doing here anyways? Ain't your parents all... Not letting you do this ****? I mean, never knew anyone as young as you able to go out like this?" He looked at me almost like he disapproved of me. As if I was... Well, what I was. Some little kid trying to seem big. So, I did what I thought Alysha would have done, I gave him all the attitude I could after my first hit of blue haired weed.
"And who the **** are you to ask me this anyways? And besides, I don't know what the **** they're thinking of about me anways, so go **** your mom." I put on my most evil face I could and glared strongly. I thought I had done pretty damn well too. Too bad no one else thought it, they all found it hilarious.
"Holy **** man, you got a chick with a mouth! Hell, she's gotta come with us more often!" Justin slapped my back and trailed it down to my ass. I didn't notice it at the time since Alysha was helping me hit the bong by myself so she didn't have to for me. I passed it and felt my head get lighter. It was the best I had felt ever. Everything in my mind was swirling and nothing came into focus, for the first time ever. It was as if I was put into the body of a boy named Marcus in my class. He was always tripping over himself and was stupider than anyone I ever knew. I was sure I had gotten what I wanted.
But then, Jason and Stephen pull little pieces of foil, straws, and white paper out of their pockets, followed by little tabs, stamps, and what looked like sugar. Justin got up and came back with more bottle of alcohol, which I could almost recognize instantly. Alysha whispered to me to just watch and learn, because this was what I really wanted. This was the stuff to get everyone turning heads to me on Monday. This was just the beginning.
Last edited by ryoko, 6/21/2004, 12:20 am
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"You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm. "--Colette
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6/21/2004, 12:19 am
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ryoko
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Posts: 150
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Re: Heh... I See You
I'm stopping this here, and choosing not to continue. I don't like thinkin' 'bout it much anymore, so I'ma put it b'hind me 'nd leave it buried.... Unless some'ne wants ta teach meh how ta delete stuff... =^-^='
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"You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm. "--Colette
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8/5/2004, 1:06 am
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