MarkL15
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Registered: 09-2003
Posts: 107
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do you know?
you say its me who makes you this way,
my mistakes my screw ups I make everyday,
is that the reason you do what you do,
I wonder if you have ever had someone hit you,
I'm trying to find reasons for the things that you do,
have you ever had someone stand above you, so strong,
and use poisoned words that roll of their tongue,
have you ever known the pain a fist can cause upon your face,
the feeling that rises inside, when your hit so hard you float away,
do you know the things you do? have they ever been done to you,
I wonder really because you hit so well your fist and words cause my hell,
do you know what its like to be alone to hide in the corner having no where to go,
and have you felt fear strike your heart every time someone opens the door,
I need some reason to understand why you treat me like you do,
my only thought is that someone once probably did it to you.
---
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Goo Goo Dolls - iris
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9/23/2003, 3:33 pm
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wanderingsoul
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Registered: 07-2003
Location: Wandering
Posts: 403
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Re: do you know?
Mark, this was very revealing and hopefully gave you some relief. Sometimes you can't really say things to the person who needs to hear them, so you write them down, commit them to paper. It makes them real, makes them not only in your head and sometimes (not always) makes the feelings behind them easier to deal with because once they are in words, they are smaller, can be dealt with. This is more often the case in retrospect, though--unfortunately not often the case when you are still living in the middle of those words.
The last line of your poem is probably very true. Violence and abuse are things we tend to pass on. Mostly because we learn our life skills from our parents. If they raise us with resentment, anger and violence, that is how we learn to deal with our problems and feelings. And the sad part of it is that we know (or want to believe) that our parents love us. But they teach us to not show that love. They teach us to hit when we want to hold. They teach us to yell, when we want to whisper. And they teach us to look at the one we want to love with resentment and anger, teach us to blame that person for how we feel--because we don't really know HOW to feel because we have never been shown HOW to feel anything but hatred and anger. And when we DO feel love, it overwhelms us and makes us insecure and we resort to the only thing we know: violence.
Yeah, it passes on from one generation to the next. But there is always one generation that it starts with--and there can be one generation it ends with.
---
And by and by my Soul returned to me, And answered "I Myself amd Heav'n and Hell"
from The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam as translated by Edward Fitzgerald
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9/23/2003, 4:39 pm
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Hades0
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Registered: 11-2003
Posts: 13
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Re: do you know?
I felt like i wus intrudin.
You ok?
Good one, hope it made yu feel better.
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11/3/2003, 12:02 pm
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