MarkL15
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Registered: 09-2003
Posts: 107
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inside
Pull yourself away, go deep inside,
disguise the need to run away and hide,
smile an empty smile at all you know,
put all the anger away, never let it show,
hide in that corner, its where you belong,
with all of the shadows, little of the sun,
give all you own all you have ever had,
realise it was a lie as you never had that,
bite your lip hard to hold in the screams,
let them see, that everything is how it seems
never ask questions, always do as your told,
give up everything, give him all of the control
bend to his will, always do everything as he says,
it will only be much worse if you try to disobey
those walls are fairly strong that you hide behind,
just stay there until your ready, just give it time,
and when those walls break, nowhere left to hide,
make sure you bury yourself even deeper inside.
---
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Goo Goo Dolls - iris
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12/9/2003, 11:43 am
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wanderingsoul
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Registered: 07-2003
Location: Wandering
Posts: 403
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Re: inside
I hear our conversation in these words. Inside yourself is sometimes the only place you can go. Easy for people to tell you run away physically, to remove yourself from the situation around you. Not so easy to actually do. And everyone who does NOT “just leave” has a reason that is their own. Sometimes it is simply a matter of waiting for the right time. And that time does always come—but only YOU know when that time is the right time. So until then, you wait—which is pretty much what you said in your line “just stay there until your ready, just give it time.”
So while you wait, you hide inside yourself, behind the walls you build for your own safety. A few in this world never find their way out. But for those—like you—who use the time within to search and reason and understand, when the time comes for you to emerge from those walls you will find you still know who you are.
No matter where we run, we always follow ourselves. Our thoughts, emotions, fears all follow us like rabid dogs chasing down a prey. At least when we run inside ourselves we have some measure of control over those things. They are ours, they belong to us, we contain them within our walls where we can examine them, deal with them—and not just run blindly away from them.
I know, my reply is a bit disjointed, but it is only an extension of a conversation we have already had. *smiles* And you always know what I am saying even if I say it badly.
And your last two lines:
and when those walls break, nowhere left to hide,
make sure you bury yourself even deeper inside.
No matter how many layers of walls you have to keep building, no matter how deeply inside yourself you have to go to protect yourself, you will still know who you are, Mark. The deeper inside you go, the more you will learn about yourself and your strength. And no matter how deeply you bury yourself, you will still be able to hear my voice. *grins* At the very least it will annoy you enough to make you pop out of that deep, dark place just long enough to tell me to shut the hell up! 
So, before you tell me to shut the hell up, just one last thing. As always, your poem is well done. It flows, has rhythm and rhyme and the rhyme is not forced, does not distract from the meaning of the words. Always hard to do, and something you always do well.
---
And by and by my Soul returned to me, And answered "I Myself amd Heav'n and Hell"
Omar Khayyam
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12/9/2003, 1:56 pm
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Cutie T
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Registered: 07-2003
Posts: 181
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Re: inside
This was a VERY powerful poem... it home home for me and i do mean it hit home.. so many times i hve don' that in a way... just locked my self inside... I have been doing it recently was well but your words struck a cord in me and they are very powerful this is one of your best Mark
Love TK
---
Your not my god,
your not my friend,
your not the ones that i will walk with in the end,
Your not the truth,
your a temporary shot,
and you Ruin peoples' lives and you don't give a second thought
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12/11/2003, 11:02 pm
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