PoeGirl
Registered user
Global user
Registered: 07-2003
Location: playing with my inner demons
Posts: 73
Karma: 0 (+0/-0)
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
you let me down
you let me down so hard.
you let me down to the cold snow
you walk so far ahead
now i have no where to go.
you disapear into the frost
i hear the crunching of your feet
i close my eyes as tears come down
a listen to my heart beat.
you make me shiver in your tracks
as the cold wind licks my face
i feel the tears freeze to my cheek
as i sit in my same place.
you let me down so hard
please come back and rescue me
please warm me up inside
can't you hear my plea?
i know you're not coming back
becuase you're already gone
you walked away and let me down
left me in the dark without a light on.
you let me down.
---
Welcome to my hell
my field of bloody roses
always bound to be a thorn
|
|
9/5/2003, 7:51 am
|
Send Email to PoeGirl
Send PM to PoeGirl
ICQ
Yahoo
|
wanderingsoul
Head Administrator
Global user
Registered: 07-2003
Location: Wandering
Posts: 403
Karma: 2 (+2/-0)
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: you let me down
Very visual. I get the picture of you sitting there in the snow watching someone leaving, then just sitting there crying, hoping, waiting...even though you know that person isn't coming back. I picture you sitting there as the light of day slowly fades, the snow starting to fall, snowflakes clinging to you.
Very good. I really could feel the cold.
---
And by and by my Soul returned to me, And answered "I Myself amd Heav'n and Hell"
from The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam as translated by Edward Fitzgerald
|
|
9/8/2003, 2:34 pm
|
Send Email to wanderingsoul
Send PM to wanderingsoul
|
MarkL15
Registered user
Global user
Registered: 09-2003
Posts: 107
Karma: 1 (+1/-0)
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: you let me down
I agree i got that visual aswell, felt this one and it was painful, i hope no one lets you down again like this, very beautiful and bittersweet, you write really well.
---
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Goo Goo Dolls - iris
|
|
10/12/2003, 5:20 pm
|
Send Email to MarkL15
Send PM to MarkL15
|
jaytheCavetroll
Registered user
Global user
Registered: 12-2003
Posts: 16
Karma: -1 (+0/-1)
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: you let me down
You made me shiver with this one, felt the cold. You should learn a lesson from this, put your faith in nothing and you wont get let down. Be the one to bite not the one who is bitten. This poem was ok, like this one.
Last edited by jaytheCavetroll, 12/9/2003, 1:56 pm
|
|
12/9/2003, 1:56 pm
|
Send Email to jaytheCavetroll
Send PM to jaytheCavetroll
|
PoeGirl
Registered user
Global user
Registered: 07-2003
Location: playing with my inner demons
Posts: 73
Karma: 0 (+0/-0)
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: you let me down
thank you..i've been rusty so excuse this lol...i should have mever stopped writeing eh?
---
Welcome to my hell
my field of bloody roses
always bound to be a thorn
|
|
12/14/2003, 8:12 pm
|
Send Email to PoeGirl
Send PM to PoeGirl
ICQ
Yahoo
|
