wanderingsoul
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Sam and I Paint His Room - Monday, October 04, 2004
Painting...remind me to NOT do it for a living. I bought this really cool paint roller thing. You fill the handle with paint and pump it into the roller and roll the paint on. Sounds simple. *rolls eyes* Well.. NOWHERE does it say you have to use a special type roller cover. So the one it came with was to paint smooth surfaces. Well, Sam's walls are a bit rough from the plastering over the years, so I wanted one that painted semi-rough surfaces. When I bought the roller, I looked for roller covers of the same name as the paint thing. They didn't have any and the box didn't say it needed special ones. So I bought the “normal” ones. So, I put the roller cover I wanted on and proceeded to try to roll paint onto the ceiling.
With a little luck, the nice white paint will come out of my hair. Thankfully the linoleum on the floor is very old and virtually indestructible (has to be 40+ years old). I pumped the paint into the roller and it shot right out the sides. Fun. My mother called upstairs asking if I was ok--I was swearing and yelling and almost frothing at the mouth. So after I yelled to Sam to get me some towels and paper towels and pumped what paint I could back into the paint can, I ran to the bathroom sink--which FORTUNATELY is so ancient it would only be improved by covering it in paint... and tried to wash the whole ****ing thing out.
Was cursing at it, going to take it back to the store, **** them, bastards.. I was pissed. *hides under desk* Then I realized what happened. The roller cover that came with the roller has little holes in the tube--for the paint to go through onto the cover. The one I had used, didn't--so the paint just shot out the side. *scowls* Of course, it would have been NICE if SOMEWHERE on the box or in the instructions it SAID you had to use special covers. Of course...someone with a small amount of sense might have looked first.. and might have THOUGHT of how the paint was supposed to get through the tube onto the roller cover... *sighs* Messy.. very messy. So I put the right cover on, and the ceiling was done in about 10 minutes.
Should have been good from there, right? *shakes head* Not with the Two Stooges Painting Crew. Sam wanted to pain the corners. I didn't have a corner roller (don't ask me why I didn't buy one--no clue, stupidity?), so I said he could paint the corners with a brush. *rolls eyes* Have I mentioned I think he is mentally challenged? Paints with a nice "flourish." Which would be nice on a canvas, but nice freshly painted white ceilings do not need blue paint spattered on them. So he painted one corner--then went in the closet (his decision) to hide in there while I did the other corners and the areas around the windows--all the tight spaces the rollers wouldn't fit. I asked him a few times if he was coming out of the closet. He said “I like my closet.” Ok…
Then I decided to use the paint roller thing again. *smiles stupidly* Should have been simple--already used it once. Except...the roller cover I had used was soggy. I had tried to clean it off and dry it--but it was too soggy and AFTER I filled it up with the nice Skyline Blue paint, I tried it out--and it wouldn't roll. Of course, the SMART thing to have done would have been to try the roller out BEFORE I filled the tube with paint. But then I wouldn't have been able to curse and stomp and spatter paint all the way to the bathroom--where I once again had to clean everything out.
So... it was my ONLY roller cover that worked with that roller thing.
So I yelled down to my mom, "Mom, do you have any paint roller handles?"
The first one she sent Sam up with was old and crusty. Couldn't have rolled that one if I had Superman muscles.
"Mom, do you have any OTHER paint roller handles?"
She sent Sam up with a nice clean one. *rolls eyes* Wonder why she didn't send that one up the first time... Suppose she has missed my swearing and wanted to hear more of it.
So I put a nice new roller cover on it--it was the one for "rough" surfaces, because I had already destroyed the semi-rough one in the first fiasco. *rolls eyes* Felt sorry for Sam--after all, he was sitting alone in the closet... So I showed him how to use the small roller and told him to paint above the door. Only about 9 inches of space high and about 3 feet wide--looked simple. And he was doing a great job when I started to try out the roller my mom gave me. Rolled nice--but the damned roller cover was too fluffy and it didn't go on right. The "rough" one was just too rough for the wall. So I cursed at it and threw it in an empty box.
Sam said "Dad, I got a little paint on the ceiling."
The word "little" is very subjective, VERY open to interpretation apparently. Of course, by that time I was one step away from throwing the paint can at the wall... Yelled at Sam. Sent him into the other room to break plaster bubbles. Could hear him really getting into that. Made me worry for a moment that there would be no walls left in that room (which will be where my computer will be) when he was done. But I was so mad at him at that point--well, I was just mad. Stark raving mad about that point.
So... I ended up having to paint the whole room with a 3 inch roller. So armed with a nice brush and a 3 inch roller, I decided I would paint the area near the ceiling. *rolls eyes* And about 5 minutes later I had more nice blue paint on the ceiling than Sam did. *sighs* So I painted all the low areas. *grins* Had a nice chair with rollers so I got really lazy and rolled around the room painting what I could reach sitting in the chair. Then I called Sam in and asked him to help me with the rest.
Pointed to the ceiling where I had put the blue paint and said "You are a lot better at doing the part near the ceiling than I am."
So he did all the upper half of the room--with that 3 inch roller. Got a little paint on the ceiling, much more on him--but he did a good job and he didn't hide in the closet anymore. Of course…when you are climbing a ladder and bend over a bit--IF you have an ass like Sam... you will leave an ass print on the freshly painted wall. Left a few elbow prints and knee prints... and the one side of his hair is blue. *laughs* We are a good pair at the moment. He has blue hair, I have white hair. He has a little more paint on him than I do though. And he did go back over the areas where he left prints. Though I thought it would have been nice to leave the ass print.
And the floor looks nice with blue and white speckles. And we will paint the woodwork another time. Blue looks good there, too. Supposed to be white--will eventually be white. Right now it is white with blue spots.
We will paint the closet another day. And as Sam said, "It's only a closet--who CARES if it is painted. True. It is a dingy yellow now. I think it was actually painted that color. And the cobwebs really need to be removed first. Got most of them when I plastered in there. But apparently there is a healthy "cob" population in there and they have replaced their webs. Very industrious things, cobs.
I washed up a bit at my mom’s. But I still have white hair and blue speckles. Sam has blue hair and white speckles (well, has blue patches just about everywhere also). He is in the shower now. He says he loves painting. And says he is much better at it than I am. And when I point to the blue paint on his clothes and in his hair, he points to the white paint in my hair and the blue paint on my clothes—AND reminds me of the dark blue paint that ended up on the white carpet and in his brand new sneakers, the LAST time I painted his room. And he reminds me that HE was not the one who spilled that paint.
Painting...remind me to NOT do it for a living—no matter HOW desperate I get.
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And by and by my Soul returned to me, And answered "I Myself amd Heav'n and Hell"
Omar Khayyam
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11/4/2005, 3:21 am
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