wanderingsoul
Head Administrator
Global user
Registered: 07-2003
Location: Wandering
Posts: 403
Karma: 2 (+2/-0)
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Sam and the Green Tongue--aka The Easter Flu - Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Ok, Sam has been sick. He has had the flu, with the cold symptoms and vomiting. So naturally, I have kept him home from school the past 2 days. After all, he has been complaining of feeling sick and refused to eat all but a handful of crackers. Trust me, when Sam doesn’t eat, he is sick. Eating is second only to Game Boy in his list of all-consuming pleasures.
So tonight, feeling sorry for him, I coaxed (yeah, was very nice and comforting, really good dad stuff) him to come down to dinner (has been in bed) and try to manage a few bites of food. So while I am making dinner, he comes up to me and is talking to me—weakly, holding on to the counter for support—and I notice his tongue is green.
Ok…I’m not completely stupid. A little light bulb went on about then. So I asked him how his tongue got green. Ever see the “deer in the headlights look”? Well, he had it. All over his face. “It’s from the Gatorade, dad. It turns your tongue green.” Well… not the blue one. He went so far as to have me drink some Gatorade to “prove” my tongue would turn green—it didn’t. So I mentioned casually that it looked like he had been eating candy—from his Easter basket. Oh no, he hadn’t. Must be the sickness. No, couldn’t be that—don’t know of any sickness that turns your tongue green. Then he said he had eaten candy a few days ago and it must have turned his tongue green. Well, nice try—except he had shown my his tongue earlier as proof that he had eaten some crackers. *gags* I really did not want to see that, especially while I was eating something.
So I told him that his tongue had not been green earlier today. He didn’t give up, though. He suggested it was a delayed reaction to the candy he had eaten a couple days ago. In fact, maybe he had had it yesterday, he thought—which is what made him so sick—too sick to go to school. And I guessed he had actually had candy—the yellow dip things. I say yellow because he had mentioned me that his puke had been a bright yellow. Naturally, I didn’t question that too closely at the time—really, who wants to discuss the color and texture of puke?
So he was caught. Finally got him to admit he had eaten candy—but not after doing his best to stick to his story. “Look at my eyes and my face, dad. Do I look like I’m lying?” Yes. He will never be a successful poker player. He has a “tell,” but I won’t tell him what it is—and I won’t tell it here either—wouldn’t put it past him to read this, the little evil spawn.
So he is off to school tomorrow, where I hope they give him enough homework to wear his pudgy little fingers down to the knuckles. ...And I confiscated the rest of his Easter candy. Wasn't anything good left, though. Just the red dip thing. Turns your tongue red. *sticks tongue out at you* See? And a package of jelly beans that were so bad that even I wouldn't eat them--not even the red ones. Says much. Wouldn't surprise me, though, if he has a stash in his room. I routinely find caffeined soda stashed in his desk... *shakes head*
---
And by and by my Soul returned to me, And answered "I Myself amd Heav'n and Hell"
Omar Khayyam
|
|
11/4/2005, 2:59 am
|
Send Email to wanderingsoul
Send PM to wanderingsoul
|
