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TopfreeMike04
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Re: Too much exposure
quote:
I believe Carly did more for topfreedom by putting her top on, than by arguing with the host. It showed respect for the host and maybe it got other women wishing they had the courage to go swimming topfree.
Every time women put their tops on at the request of people like that it just strengthens their hand. It seems the topfree woman is always the one showing respect for other people but its funny how there is no great urgency on their part to show respect to the topfree woman. Personally I dont think thats very fair. The hostess did nothing to earn Carly's respect so she had no reason to comply with her request. If I were her I wouldnt want to be invited somewhere I couldnt swim topfree in their pool. The hostess request probably discouraged other women from going topfree because they probably figure women like that hostess would just demand they put their top back on if they did go topfree. I wasnt suggesting anyone argue with the hostess I simply think she shouldve just stayed topfree and said im not putting the top on and kept it at that. The hostess couldve always thrown her out but at least she would have stayed topfree and kept her dignity and that hostess wouldve lost that battle. These people need to learn to mind their own business and not impose their prejudices on other people.
quote:
I believe the men enjoyed it. Or maybe that was the problem, someone's husband or b/f liked it too much.
Then that is their problem. Maybe the other men need to learn to control their hormones instead of forcing the woman to put the top on just because they cant be mature. A cold shower would do wonders for them.
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7/28/2009, 8:12 pm
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newfieguy
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Re: Too much exposure
lost cause guys. some people are just too narrow minded. we all know she did the right thing.
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7/29/2009, 8:28 am
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TopfreeMike04
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Re: Too much exposure
I guess youd rather just put the top on instead of alienating the prejudiced hostess. Youre too busy worrying about your friends feelings to realize they dont give a rip about yours and dont care if they violate your freedoms for their own selfish desires. I mean respect is a 2 way street but most of the time its one way because people dont expect it to be both ways. Thats why I wouldnt go to a party where the hostess puts her own personal desires above the freedom and happiness of her guests.
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7/29/2009, 11:48 am
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JoJoe
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Re: Too much exposure
Well said Newfieguy.
Mike(ie) lacks the maturity to have a mature conversation about what a mature woman does out of respect.
Unfortunately he will only tell us shoulds, and will not be able to tell us real stories of his own as to how he did what he advocates.
Sad indeed.
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7/29/2009, 10:29 pm
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TopfreeMike04
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Re: Too much exposure
quote:
Mike(ie) lacks the maturity to have a mature conversation about what a mature woman does out of respect.
I just think a mature woman can show respect to someone but still stand up for what they beleive in. You dont have to compromise your values just to show respect.
quote:
Unfortunately he will only tell us shoulds, and will not be able to tell us real stories of his own as to how he did what he advocates.
Saying you "should" do something is alot more respectful than just outright telling you to do something. With "should" its just a suggestion and youre free to tell me its garbage and totally disreguard it. Some people dont even bother suggesting things and just go around telling people what to do and bark orders.
As for the real stories about what I advocate I could tell you several, unfortunately they have very little if anything to do with women's topfreedom and thus are not relevant to this board and would be off-topic. It might seem like im avoiding discussing the issue but its the truth.
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7/29/2009, 11:45 pm
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Sammyboy72
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Re: Too much exposure
Are you "excercising your right" to be naked in your own home yet Mike? You don't do that, do you. Not out of respect for anyone, but out of fear of the repercussions. Carly could legitimately take the same view, but in fact, she's taking a much more mature view.
In my house, I feel I have the right to set the standards for behaviour. Nobody is going to do a line of coke from my counter top, and I don't care if they think that's infringing their freedoms or not. In this case, the hostess will almost certainly talk about this with her husband, friends, and others. The discussion will be "I couldn't believe it, this woman just took her top off!". Through those discussions, she may get lots of feedback from others like "Wow, that's pretty cool", or "I wish I was confident enough to do that", or "Oh, no big deal. We saw that all the time in Europe. Why were you worried."
If Carly had refused, and either made her feel uncomfortable the rest of the time, or more likely, been thrown out, the conversation would be more on the lines of "This woman just took her top off, and even worse, she refused to put it back on when I asked her. I had to throw her out in the end". Very few people are then going to be saying "Wow, how cool". Even those comfortable with boobs are going to be saying "God, what terrible behaviour, I won't be inviting her over", and will likely be conflating toplessness with being a stroppy and difficult guest.
There is no "right" to be top free, or to any other form of behaviour or dress, in someone else's house.
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7/30/2009, 11:48 pm
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pc44
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Re: Too much exposure
Sammy,
While I agree with what you said in your rebuttal to Mike, there is no way to have a discussion with him.
I believe the only way to deal with Mike is to keep repeating to oneself, "I must not feed the troll. I must not feed the troll..."
No good can come from it.
Paul
I must not feed the the troll.
I must not feed the the troll.
I must not feed the the troll.
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7/31/2009, 5:22 am
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TopfreeMike04
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Re: Too much exposure
quote:
Are you "excercising your right" to be naked in your own home yet Mike? You don't do that, do you. Not out of respect for anyone, but out of fear of the repercussions. Carly could legitimately take the same view, but in fact, she's taking a much more mature view.
No because while nudity appeals to me sometimes im more a shirtless/barefoot guy. Besides nudity is a whole different can of beans and really isnt relevant to this forum which is a topfreedom forum and being topfree is NOT naked so its really not the same thing. I probably could get away with going naked at home discreetly but since going naked isnt as big of a thing to me as going topfree is to all of you it wouldnt have the same effect to go all out protesting my right to go naked at home, etc.
Women areint gonna get the freedom to go topfree by asking nicely and trying to make everyone happy.
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In my house, I feel I have the right to set the standards for behaviour.
Behavior yes, dress no because its none of your business.
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Nobody is going to do a line of coke from my counter top, and I don't care if they think that's infringing their freedoms or not.
Drinking coke and going topfree are two different things. Really though are you gonna chuck a guest out just because they whip out a coke and drink it in front of you? I mean you might not like it but thats certainly no reason to eject someone who is otherwise a good person and youd probably have no other troubles with. Besides noone is gonna argue their right to drink coke in front of you anyways, thats just silly.
quote:
In this case, the hostess will almost certainly talk about this with her husband, friends, and others. The discussion will be "I couldn't believe it, this woman just took her top off!". Through those discussions, she may get lots of feedback from others like "Wow, that's pretty cool", or "I wish I was confident enough to do that", or "Oh, no big deal. We saw that all the time in Europe. Why were you worried."
I think I like option 3.
quote:
If Carly had refused, and either made her feel uncomfortable the rest of the time, or more likely, been thrown out, the conversation would be more on the lines of "This woman just took her top off, and even worse, she refused to put it back on when I asked her. I had to throw her out in the end". Very few people are then going to be saying "Wow, how cool". Even those comfortable with boobs are going to be saying "God, what terrible behaviour, I won't be inviting her over", and will likely be conflating toplessness with being a stroppy and difficult guest.
Im sure they would assess the whole situation and not just take the hostess word for it and not consider everything else with the situation. If the only reason she gets kicked out is for going topfree then I think that hostess has problems. I mean if she were beligerent and hostile then yeah I could understand her kicking her out but if she were pleasant and friendly about it then I dont see what the big deal is. I dont like parties with hostess that go around acting like the fashion police. Nobody is picking on her for what she wears and im sure that might upset some people but she probably wont hear boo about it so youd think shed show the same respect to a topfree woman.
quote:
There is no "right" to be top free, or to any other form of behaviour or dress, in someone else's house.
What their guests wear is none of their business. Its just obnoxious for a host to go around acting like the fashion patrol and kicking anyone out who isnt in style at the moment. Whats next requiring the guests to wear polka dots? I hate dress codes of any kind unless absoulutely necessary.
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7/31/2009, 9:35 pm
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richnh
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Re: Too much exposure
quote:
Carly44 wrote:
From my experience, it is very rare that anyone will ask you to cover up, but if they do, then the best thing is to comply rather than make a scene by getting thrown out or leaving in a huff. That would be childish.
I agree with the other member, you did good for topfreedom that day. Perhaps you should invite her to YOUR house.... :-)
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8/2/2009, 4:27 am
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fabmandabulous
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Re: Too much exposure
Just starting to catch up on things here, but I have to applaud Carly. There's nothing wrong with following the "rules" that someone else sets at their own house or party. I can't stand cigarette smoke but if someone wants to smoke, that's their choice. However, they will not do it in my house - that's my rule and I expect anyone who comes over to respect that.
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8/2/2009, 9:56 am
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