Potty Pirate
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Registered: 12-2006
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Wacky Weasel Christmas routine
Ahoy there, folks! Many congratulations to Chance and Shelley for their new arrival, Roagan.
I thought some folks might find my take on the Wacky Weasel useful. This is a Christmas routine, but in fact it's easy to adapt it to suit a birthday party, or any other event for that matter.
I start off with the thrashing bag, and "Rocky Raccoon" moves as per the normal routine, then hypnotise the Weasel and vanish him in the "Take Apart Vanish". I now look around for the weasel to find where he's gone. I can't find him, but the kids hear a loud farting noise coming from the old rusty box in the corner.....
I go pick up the box, and there's a "look don't see" moment as the weasel pops up from the box a couple of times.
"Wiggles! How did you get in there! Why, you naughty Weasel... Hey, (wave hand in front of Wiggles)...Wiggles...Wiggles? ...Oh dear, I think he’s still hypnotised.(click fingers) Wiggles, wake up now! Oh dear, I think we may have a problem here... "
W: (with Dalek style voice) I AM A DALEK!
P: WHAT?
W: I am a dalek!
P: (groans) Oh, no, what now?
W: EXTERMINATE!
P: Wiggles!
W: I am a dalek! Exterminate!
P: You’re not a Dalek, you’re a Weasel! And what do you plan to do in that box?
W: HIBERNATE!
P: With all these kids and all this noise? And you want to sleep? You’ll be lucky...
W: FORTUNATE!
P: Anyway, you can see the effect you have on these boys and girls
W: FASCINATE!
P: Yes, they ARE fascinated, but why are you talking like a Dalek?
W: IMPERSONATE!
P: You’re impersonating a Dalek? Hmmm…..I wish you were a pirate instead of a Dalek...
W: AHOY, SHIP MATE!
P: Aaah! So you CAN be a pirate,...but you still sound like a Dalek!
W: FORTUNATE!
P: Why is that fortunate?
W: GUESS WHAT I ATE?
P: What did you eat?
W: CHOCOLATE!
P: Chocolate, eh? I hope you didn’t eat too much of it. You might make yourself feel sick.
W: REGURGITATE!
P: No! Wiggles, behave yourself! (Loud farting noise)
W: SUFFOCATE! SUFFOCATE!
P: Wiggles, that was very rude….
W: (voice getting higher and more angst-ridden) VENTILATE! VENTILATE!
P: (Wafts lid of box up and down as if to disperse the smell.) I hope you shared your chocolate?
W: NOT A CHANCE, MATE!
P: Well, that was very selfish, Wiggles. Why don’t you give a piece of chocolate to me? (go to reach into box)
W: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
P: Wiggles, now you’re making me cross.
W: INFURIATE! INFURIATE!
P: You’re a very selfish weasel.
W: OBSTINATE!
P: Yes, well, anyway, as long as you’re hypnotised, we might as well see how clever you are... You see, boys and girls, if you get a very clever animal, he can be trained to do all kinds of useful things, like chewing the cheesy bits off your socks, and sniffing out treasure and dragon snot and stuff. Let’s see now, we’ll have a little Christmas test for Wiggles. Here are three balls...one white, one blue, and one red (miscall colours, kids complain, so you hold up the white, blue, then red, and have THEM supply the colours.) Well, that’s what I SAID! Anyway, here are the three balls. Wiggles, now I have a question for you...which of those balls is the colour of Rudolph’s nose? Do you know, Wiggles? Which one is it? Oooh, look, he’s gone to have a go...(blue ball comes flying out and Wiggles pops up) That’s not the right colour, is it, boys and girls? Wiggles, you got it wrong!
W: (dalek voice) Rudolph's nose is blue. He has stood outside in the freezing cold all night. REFRIDGERATE! REFRIDGERATE!
P: Now, you’re just being silly, Wiggles. Everyone knows Rudolph’s nose isn’t BLUE! Dalek or no Dalek, you’ll have to try again...(Wiggles again pops down into the box. This time the white ball flies out, and wiggles pops up again.)
P: Wiggles, that’s the WHITE ball!
W: WHITE IS RIGHT!
P: No, white is WRONG! Rudolph’s nose isn’t WHITE.
W: RUDOLPH WAS OUT IN THE SNOW ALL NIGHT
NOW HIS NOSE IS SHINING WHITE!
P: Wiggles, Rudolph’s nose isn’t WHITE. Is it, boys and girls? Anyway, I don’t know why you can’t tell your colours apart, like me.
W: Wiggles the Dalek is colour blind.
P: Colour blind? Really? Oooh, everyone say “Aaaaaah, poor Wiggles”. Well, anyway, enough of that. It’s time for you to go, Wiggles.
W: Wiggles the Dalek wants to show you a trick.
P: Well, I don’t think we want to see that trick. DO WE, BOYS AND GIRLS? You do? Oh, very well, then... What trick are you going to do, Wiggles? In the big red sock? Oh, look, here’s your big red sock, Wiggles. Is this your Christmas sock?
(Show the various foam Christmas pictures, and force the one which Wiggles will produce.)
Now, Wiggles, can you find the picture that Johnny chose?
W: EVALUATE! YES, I CAN, MATE!
P: Very well then, I’ll put the pictures in your box, now off you go...
W: CALCULATE...(Push Wiggles down, and he pops up with the red ball on his head.)
P: Wiggles! That’s the red ball...that’s the ball you were SUPPOSED to have found before!
W: IT’S NEVER TOO LATE!
P: Well, now why don’t you go ahead and find the picture Johnny chose? Can you do that now, or are we going to have to wait for ages?
W: IMMEDIATE!
P: Well, get on with it then...(push Wiggles down, he doesn’t come up...) Wiggles? Wiggles?
W: ALL RIGHT, JUST WAIT! (Wiggles finally appears with the correct picture in his mouth.)
P: Wow! You did it, Wiggles! Let’s give him a round of applause, boys and girls...
W: I WAS JUST GREAT!
P: Yes, Wiggles, you were great! And as a special surprise, I’ve got a present for you...(put small carton into Wiggles’ box. Wiggles pops down and shreds of the carton fly out - using the card launcher. Wiggles pops up with a Christmas hat on).
W: TIME TO CELEBRATE!
P: Yes, it is, isn’t it Wiggles? Do you like Christmas?
W: CHRISTMAS IS GREAT!
P: What’s YOUR favourite thing about Christmas, Wiggles?
W: CHRISTMAS CAROLS, MATE!
P: You like Christmas carols? Can you sing one for us?
W: Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way...
Oh, what fun it is to...EXTERMINATE ALL HUMANS!!!!
P: Well, Wiggles, it’s time for you to say goodbye now...etc.
Of course, this routine works well in the UK, as all the kids here know what a Dalek is. (A comedy/scary sci-fi metal alien).
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